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You may not be Certain, but God is!
A mouse is not how I would ever describe myself but I might now because our God saw fit to change me. Those who are not close to me might call me a mouse. I am passionate about my God and passionate about women. I like to have fun and be boisterous. When I am having fun, it is no place for meekness but when I am discussing our God, now that is another story. I become who He has trained me to be and I am certain you don’t know the half of it or even any of it. You know what your history tells you to see.
I remember when I was first saved I was a Bible thumping Christian. When I was taught the truth I had to teach everyone that truth, even if they didn’t want to hear it. I would follow then around until they said, “Uncle!” If that is God’s truth then they needed to know it too, or so I thought. I was filled with pride but now I am qualified to teach with certainty. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still get over exuberant but I never get angry at anyone’s lack of hearing or knowledge. I know now that you are born for great things but you need to be trained to do them in your time not mine. The great Teacher is the one who will teach you. I am here to drop the seeds. This knowledge is what brought me to a certainty that I can teach women, at any time, in any situation, even if I am certain they are not hearing.
Have you ever told someone something ten times and still they forgot it? Have you ever told someone something ten minutes ago and they forgot? We are surrounded by people who learn differently than us. As a teacher, I was having a hard time with this concept because I was insecure, not my students. When I am supposed to learn something, I learn it quickly. That is a trait God gave me from birth. The quick learning trait caused me to flip from pride to insecurity and back again every minute of the day. I am also gifted with administration which did not help my insecurity at all. I could envision great plans for the future of a product, a person or a function but was halted because no one else had that vision. A woman I worked with tied up some loose ends for me. She was sent by God, for that season, to teach me what my heart did not know. The knowledge I now had, forced me to deal with my uncertainty in God’s vision for me. Maybe He is seeing something I am not?
If I am a quick learner and had vision that no one could see, why do I feel so stupid? If I am made in the image of God, why do I think I am ugly? Can people see how insecure I am? Can God see how unqualified I am to help women? These unanswered questions were holding me back. How can this turn out for the glory of God? That is the one vision I did not have, as much as I tried to conjure it up. God knew exactly who He was training and what to do to straighten my mind out. I knew where I was going with God but I had no idea how I would become qualified. Do you feel the same? Has God told you His plan for you yet you continually believe you are not qualified or worthy?
He chose me just as He has chosen you. His plan for us is so spectacular that we cannot believe it. He takes us insecure, beaten up, drug around women, picks us up, dusts us off and sets us loose on His people. We say the wrong thing at the right time, we do the best thing at the worst time and we learn our greatest lesson at the nastiest of times. He uses each and every event to build up our faith in Him until we trust Him implicitly. Then He reminds us why He chose us, what He has planned for us and that we are perfectly qualified to do it. He puts an unshakable certainty in us. When we build up our own exaggerated plan He sends someone to us to bring us back to His plan. His plan will always prevail. His plan changes us from the inside so we can walk with certainty in His plan for the world. Certain in God and certain in me!
This certainty will not stop bad things from happening or stop people from hating us. God changing us and making us certain about who we are just makes us understand the works of God and the devil better. The devil may use people to harm us but God means if for good to save many people alive (Genesis 50:20). Because we have developed an unshakable certainty in our God and in ourselves we can walk in the character He has developed in us. We can fall in line with the plan of God for us to save many people alive even if it is outrageous and audacious. Do not let your uncertainty in your own capabilities trump His certainty in you. He is certain you can do it, so go do it! Whatever your task is from God, you are qualified, and He is certain you will save many alive, I promise.
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From Pride to Qualified
You are in a pit so deep you cannot see the Light any more. Years ago, you made a decision that put you here today and pride has become your cement overshoes. Someone hurt you, and as a result every decision, since that day, has caused a shovel full of dirt to be removed under your feet. Your shoes are heavier than ever before. It is not your fault, or so you have convinced yourself, it’s their fault but they are not in this pit with you which makes you angrier. No matter, your think, you are still down in this deep cold lonely hole in the ground with cement overshoes. The darkness is blinding so even if you aren’t alone you cannot see them, but you know they are there. The darkness is closing in on you squeezing the life out of you. The sweat of fear is pouring down your brow but you can’t move your arms. Even if you could move your arms you haven’t a cloth to wipe it with. You have lost everything even the coat off your back. The cold is inside your heart. Your heart is in a deep freezer with the lid closed and locked. It wasn’t a quick freeze. It took decades of digging this pit to get down below the frost line. Every shovel full of dirt caused your heart to harden just that little bit more. Your heart is so hard with frost bite it could break into a thousand pieces with one tap of a hammer. Any word from any person is an affront to your personhood. You have become sensitive to life. It is running you down and you just don’t think you can handle one more day. You weren’t meant for this day. You constantly ask yourself, “What happened? What brought me to this point in my life?”
God is what happened! God brought you to this point in your life because He is qualifying you for the ministry He has assigned you for. Those cement overshoes you wear need to be broken off. Each swing of the hammer hurts but each swing shows you how qualified you are for the pit. Qualified to encourage your brethren. Qualified to see the need. Qualified to fulfill the need. Qualified to cry with your brethren. To be qualified you need to know you are just like me, human, broken, tattered, mistreated, lost, ignorant, prideful, human! Humility comes from knowing this. Humility comes through crying, falling, dead end streets and face plants. The world says we are qualified with higher education but God qualifies us with lower education. He lowers us down into the pit one shovel full at a time until we are qualified to come out. This is completely the opposite of the world. The world wants graduates while God wants students. When we are in the pit, we will do anything to get out including become a student of the Lord. When we become a person willing to learn, we then become qualified. There is no graduation party. There is no degree. Just you, grabbing the Hand that beckons you from deep within the pit.
Maybe Jesus didn’t have to bury you alive to qualify you. Maybe He just made you feel like you were buried. Maybe the pit was metaphorical because Jesus needed to qualify you for your ministry. Maybe you were born with cement overshoes. Whether your pit is real or metaphorical, the pit is the frat house we all belong too, with the Alpha Omega as its President. Every person who has a calling from God is an alumnus. Some of us are still living in the house of the Alpha Omega while others are the alumni helping you graduate.
When we were in the pit ourselves, we saw others at the top but we couldn’t reach their outstretched hands, as much as we wanted too. They were not qualified to pull us out only the President is qualified. He has the power to pull us out or to leave us in. He can either throw a ladder down for us to climb, or He can throw one rung at a time. He is in control of the student’s education. You will graduate from this pit when your training is complete qualifying you to walk worthy of your calling. This is your choice. Will you begin walking worthy of your calling or will the President of our frat house have to knock his pledge back down into that pit for some more training. I am fresh out of my last pit but the remnants of it still exists. It haunts me sometimes but the Lord has again made a way out of my temptation to go back into training. Each trip into the pit He gives you a way out but each trip into the pit makes me strong enough to use His way out.
Ephesians 4:1-6 has Paul beseeching us to walk worthy of the calling for which we have been called. The calling in which Jesus is making us qualified for minus the pride. The pledge is the prisoner of the Alpha Omega and He is training us to be worthy of His calling on our lives. He teaches us to be able to walk in our calling with lowliness and gentleness and with longsuffering. While we are in our training, we see others in training and others who have graduated. While we are in the pit, we commiserate with our fellow pit dwellers. We despise those we see walking freely above us. Our pride will not allow us to see they are just like us and they truly want to help us. We do a happy dance when we find out they are in their own pit of training. These emotions belong to all of us and disqualify all of us from our ministry until we check them at the door, so back into the pit we go until we are able to bear with one another in love creating unity.
Our calling cannot be done by us alone. We need each other. I am currently walking worthy of my calling on my own but one day Jesus, the Alpha Omega, will provide a woman, out from her pit, to walk beside me while we blaze a new trail, cut out by Jesus Himself. He beckons me to throw away the shovel I use for digging pits and use the tools He provides. The tools He gives me to use qualifies me for my ministry but I am the one who has too keep picking them up. I do pick up the tools and my ministry is to show you the tools Jesus has provided for you to pick up. Those tools will make you qualified for your duties under the President of this fraternity house we call the Body of Christ.
Whether you are in the pit or out, the Alpha Omega has training specific to your calling and for you alone. No one goes through the exact same training. He qualifies you for that calling in His way so you can be of service to Him. The pit happens to the best of us who are already qualified for our ministry. The pit keeps us humble and dependent on the President of our fraternity. The Christian life is filled with training and God Himself is the Teacher. Your qualifications depend on no man. As long as you are in the Body of Christ you are qualified to go out on the mission field you are assigned. As long as you use God’s tools for His work you will go from pride to qualified, I promise.
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When should your Vision from God Take Precedence?
Why would you bother to set boundaries or goals if you believe your life has no purpose? Why would a Christian believe they have no purpose? When Jesus chooses you He tells you what your purpose will be and that purpose will change your whole life therefore it always takes precedence. If you give your vision from God preference everything you do and become should point you in the direction God has pointed to. This is my vision from God – to help you remember your vision from God and walk in it through teaching you how to improve your life skills. Do not think for one second you are not worthy. If you are chosen by God you are worthy to do everything He has assigned for you.
Would you modify your vision from God? Would you delete your vision from God? Would you ignore your vision from God? I know when you read these questions your skin went red hot. As you thought about it guilt began to bubble up from the pit of your soul. If any of these answers are “yes” then I have to question whether you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. You have to question if you are a disciple of Jesus Christ. This is not to criticize you it is to wake you up. Wake up to the fact that you have a calling on your life that Jesus has predestined you to walk in. Wake up to the fact that if you don’t do it someone else will and the joy from it will be theirs too. Wake up to the fact that Jesus wants you to prepare for this calling. You are worthy to do everything Jesus has assigned for you.
When I believed Jesus was who He said He was He told me I would speak all over Canada. I noodled that for a while then He gave me more. I would open a Life Skills Center for women in Essex County so they are capable to succeed in whatever God has assigned to them. Then He told me I would get the money from writing books. Okay, I know this sound awesome but I did NOT believe it. I was initially excited but my excitement waned into unbelief as time went by. How can I speak about Him when I was the only one in my house saved? This is impossible. How can I open a center for women when I had absolutely no money and in debt up to my eyeballs? This is impossible! How can I write a book because I just don’t have time with a husband, four kids and a full-time job? This is impossible. I had one big problem after another with this vision from God. Not that I didn’t want to do it or would give up the opportunity for all the world but it was impossible in my eyes therefore not believable.
The one thing I never took into account was preparation time. We are the ‘right now” generation. I put the vision out of my mind but the desire was still there. I learned how to speak publicly and to write creatively. I joined Toastmasters and took every writing course I could get my hands on. I wrote a bunch of Life Skills Workshops but they are just chilling on my computer. I gave up because there were no opened doors. I found the Lord would open a door then close it, open another one then close it and again open then close. He kept my foot in it just enough to remind me of what He had said. There were many doors He opened only to close them not long after. There was no long term doors open which frustrated me. For my whole life I have longed for stability but there has been none until Jesus. Jesus gave me my vision but He wanted me to be completely dependent on Him for the doors. He would open a door and worn me He was going to close it. I always knew the door was closing before it closed. I thought He was teasing me but I know now He was training me. He gave me time to get my emotions in check by the time the door actual closed. He taught me to put my all into whatever He opened for me for as long as it was open. Then when it closed He taught me to put my all into learning until the next door opened.
Fast forward to today, all the training has paid off. I have written a book called The White Picket Fence to help women set Biblical boundaries so they can get into the will of God. Did you catch that? Book, women, life skills – vision from God. I am beginning to do podcasts this month with WE Podcasts in Windsor. Did you catch that? Speaking all across Canada – vision from God. The only thing left is the Life Skills Center. Do you think He will do it? He will do it because He has buried the desire deep into my soul. His desire is to train all women, not just the saved. His desire is to train you and me. The vision He gave me is His desire for women, His desire for me, His desire for Essex County, His desire for you. His desire for me is to help you move toward His desire for you. You know what it is. You know what it feels like. You have ignored it long enough, squashed it long enough, forgotten it or don’t believe it long enough. The Holy Spirit is here to remind you of what Jesus has already told you. Ask and you shall be reminded of the God ordained tasks He has laid out for you.
Let me ask those questions again. Would you modify your vision from God? Would you delete your vision from God? Would you ignore your vision from God? Say “no” now and go. I don’t have the center opened yet but the Revealed in Me Blog is open every day, every hour. I have dedicated my blogging to help you get into the will of God and be successful wherever He sends you, whatever that looks like. If you have problems saying “no” to your church family or even your own wants buy The White Picket Fence novel and learn how to set Biblical boundaries. If you don’t know God well enough to know what His plan is for you start reading the Bible every day to know Him better. If you just don’t believe what God has planned for you drop to your knees and ask Him to show you truth. The time has come for you to DO what God has called you to DO. We are in this together to serve each other, in the name above all Names, Jesus Christ.
Send me an email if you have any questions or just need someone to lead you back to Jesus.
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Rest on Your Biblical Boundaries
Change is not easy but if part of your plan is to rest in the Lord everything will work out for the good to those who love God (Romans 8:28). Time to work the plan is all we have unless Jesus has said He wants change NOW. I can understand that directive because that has always been my directive from Jesus. He wanted the change right now from me. When I first began to follow Jesus, I was not a good Christian woman. I didn’t even begin to read the Bible until one year and two months after I got saved but when I started, change happened. When change started it was not easy and it certainly wasn’t cozy. It was painful and heart breaking. It was time consuming to make the changes Jesus wanted and if I refused He sent a punishment almost instantly. The most painful part about the changes was that it never let up. It was one right change after another with no rest in between. I was learning constantly but that was not good either. I should have rested from learning and just ingrained the boundaries and the teaching a little more. I needed to just rest in the Lord for a while but I didn’t know better. My resistance to do that was probably responsible for some of my boundaries taking longer to implement.
A planned rest from learning is very important. A rest after week five is a good idea. You have your “fence” to look at and implement into your life. In the week after you create it, spend time knowing the ramification your fence will have. Read them daily so you know them. Then, hunker in to implement them into your life every day, every minute, and every second.
Since we are in the Christmas season, with everything we do focusing on Jesus, I want you to hunker into the Bible as well. All the way through The White Picket Fence you were given verses to look up, to read and to memorize. You know every work written in there was from the Father. My ability to give you that information came from Him. My ability to interest you in the women’s stories came from Him. The strength you gain from knowing what to do will come from Him. The understanding you have of what you will need to do next will come from Him.
This is a very important process to get right. Jesus is how we do everything. He is responsible for your welfare and it takes that seriously. He also wants you to take it seriously. Your welfare is very important to Him because everything you do is for His glory. If you think He doesn’t take your welfare seriously you won’t take your welfare seriously. As a result, you will muddle through life not taking anything seriously.
From now until we talk again hunker into your boundaries and hunker into the Word of God. Talk to Jesus and believe everything He is for you. He will lead you and guide you through everything you are doing for Him. If you focus on what He is asking you to do while asking Him what each of your steps should be He will bring you into all righteousness. He will bring you into success through all your failures. He will do EVERYTHING He said He will do based on your faith in Him. Rest in the Lord and you will know true rest.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 3: Intervention
This is my favourite part in the book The White Picket Fence from the chapter 9 instructions. When we think of intervention we break out into a sweat just thinking about our family coming together for that cause. I don’t know if that has happened to you but it has never happened to me. If it needs to happen maybe it should but perish the thought. In this instruction, we go from being a victim of our circumstances to the knowledge that we can be an overcomer in our circumstances. I do not know about you but that is such a good feeling.
You have now become aware, not only of how much this transgression has affected you every day, but also what sparks a fire under you to do it. We cannot do anything about this behaviour if we never attempt to stop it. [Kathleen Derbyshire, The White Picket Fence (Chapter 9)]. The awesome thing about our God is He always provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13) but that way out is useless if you do not think you are doing anything wrong. The way will be provided but you will not take it. In the third week of this instruction you are looking for His way out. You are looking to save yourself and be saved. This round-about you are travelling on has got to stop and it will begin on this third week.
Prevention is key and you will learn that eventually but for now intervention will work. This week we will intervene on our own behalf plus we will allow Jesus to intervene too. If you love Jesus He will have put His two cents in already. If you weren’t listening I want you to learn how to hear Jesus speaking to you and listen to what He says. He will point you to a direction then you have to take it. You have to take the exit from the round-about He shows you. This is yours and His intervention. You must set your mind to making the change and He just walks right in to show you which exit to take. You need to listen and do what you are told.
Let us imagine your boundary is NO sweets, and you have already defined what that means, how Jesus would speak regarding this. I have to say from experience this one is very difficult because our body gets addicted to the sweets we used to eat. If this is your boundary don’t worry if you fail daily until you get strong. There are many boundaries we might fail at daily because we are very weak with that thing (we wouldn’t need a boundary if we were strong) and the product is very prevalent, especially this time of year. You can modify your boundary by limiting that thing until you can actually get through one day without the thing. Jesus will go after you in a manner that you will understand and feel. He might put someone else in charge of you on that boundary too. You might go after a tart and someone you don’t know will make a comment about them being fattening – that is Jesus. Thank Him for it and just back away from the tart.
I think our biggest problem with this is we don’t think Jesus cares about these little things but He care deeply about these things otherwise He would not have said this; He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. (Luke 16:10) If we are out of control in the little things we will be out of control in the big things. We all know this to be true just by looking at our own lives. If we eat a candy we will eat a pie. If we will eat a little chocolate we will eat a double sized chocolate bar. Give us a foot we will take a mile. Jesus cares about how far we will go to get what we want. He knows how far we will go. We go that distance without Him but when we see where we have taken ourselves on our quest to fulfill our need He is there waiting to show us the way back. We call out to Him and He answers. He shows us the way of exit from our round-about.
The value of intervening for ourselves and letting Jesus intervene is the knowledge we gain from the intervention. As we continue to intervene we discover why you get yourself into trouble in the first place. You will see if your first course of action to intervene actually worked or if you need to take another exit. How hard is it to intervene on your own behalf? How hard is it to let Jesus intervene? You will learn a lot this week. That thing became a habit for a reason. We do them without thinking. Now we have to learn to NOT do them without thinking. This week intervene as much as you can to stop that thing Jesus has asked you to stop. Document the results and look at them each day. You will discover you are getting better at exiting rather than entering the round-about of sin.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first because our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 2: The Spark
Last week we discussed the awareness of our need to have Biblical boundaries in our lives. Until we are aware of the need for them we will not make the effort to woo them out in our lives. To continue past the awareness phase of the White Picket Fence Instructions we need to understand what causes us to need these boundaries. Outside of the precepts of God we need to be able to protect the direction God has planned for us. Getting into His will has to be a priority for us but we do have an adversary who wants to frustrate every move we make (1 Peter 5:8). Knowing this we can move forward with a better understanding behind our frustration and our sin.
As Christians, we are not immune to the temptation the devil will bring. Jesus said we will have trouble in this world (John 16:33) but we do not need to allow it to rule over us. Every boundary we set for ourselves will be set ablaze if we do not begin putting these fires out one at a time. The spark is the temptation that leads to sin. Discovering what is behind your failure to succeed will help you avoid burning your fence down out of ignorance. Your understanding of ‘why’ you sin will be your power to extinguish the spark before the fire rages and burns down your whole white picket fence. Kathleen Derbyshire; The White Picket Fence, 2017
Fire in the Bible has two meanings outside of food and warm. Acts 2:3 tells us it is the presence of God. This can set our soul on fire for God to have a zeal for His will in our life and in others. The other fire is the His judgement. Isaiah 50:11 tells us we can light our own fires but we will lay down in torment. This is the fire that is, definitely, burning our fence down. Either we are being set on fire by Jesus or we are being set on fire by the devil. You need find out where the fire is coming from and either allow God to fan the flames or get out your fire extinguisher to put it out before it does any more damage to your boundaries (boundaries and fence are synonymous in The White Picket Fence Novel).
This week spend some time discovering what sparks a fire in you to sin. Without this understanding, you will continue to go in the same direction, tripping over the same stones, knocking your head on the same beam and scratching your head with the same scarred hand. This cycle has to be stopped but it will only stop if you do the work to figure out why you keep repeating it. As a result, you will not be able to continue lying to yourself, because once you know, you cannot un-know the information. When you know, you will be able to modify the direction of these behaviours. If it takes twenty tries to learn keep at it. Don’t stop learning.
If you haven’t read Part 1, read it now, if you have you are aware that Jesus expects us to know what He wants us to do and to do it. If you write down what Jesus has asked you to do it is easier to keep referring to it. If you are not journaling, you should be. In your journal write down this week what sparks you to sin. The world is filled with eye candy for us to cause us to sin. What is your spark? What is it you see, hear, smell, taste or touch causing you to want the thing you know you cannot have. Write it down in your journal, especially if it is a daily event. A good example would be our love of sweets. They are all over the place, particularly this time of year. They draw people. They lure people. They will cause you to go to extremes to eat them. You are addicted like the rest of us. Use your senses to see which one of them lures you the hardest to the sweets. Write it down. If sweets are not your issue what is? Use your senses to discern which one is drawing you to that thing. Write it down. Do the best you can this week to understand every detail about this thing that God has asked you to quit. Why is your god rather than Jesus? What does it possess that keeps drawing you back?
Write down what you did when it drew you. Write down who you were with when it drew you. Write down how you were feeling when you were drawn into this sin. Answering these questions this week will help you to continue in these instructions. This work is not too hard for you to do but you need to set your face on doing it or you will fail at eliminating this sin and others. We need to habitually eliminate sin. It is the only way to stay in the will of God.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first. Our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 1: Awareness
The White Picket Fence book I have written was written because I saw a need for women to know they need to set boundaries in their lives. Humanity on the whole is pretty sloppy about what they will do and what they won’t do depending on who they are doing it with and where. I have been teaching teens and adults about boundaries for 12 years and encounter the same thing over and over. Why do I need boundaries? What good can come of having boundaries? Aren’t morals good enough? Most of the folks I have taught so far are not Christians therefore the reason I have for them is different than the reasons I have for Christians. For the unsaved the reasons are personal and for the saved they are Spiritual.
This week, you are becoming aware of the need for the “White Picket Fence”. With no fence to hold you back, you are free to roam into transgressions. whether they work for you or not. Think this week about being surrounded by a “White Picket Fence”, with our Jesus Christ as its foundation, and what a comfort it would be to have that fence surrounding you. Let us start first by going to the Word of God for the hope we will need to be successful. Kathleen Derbyshire; The White Picket Fence, 2017
In The White Picket Fence the characters deal with becoming aware they need boundaries. They are Christian but they have the same problems as non-Christians. The difference is we call them sin they call them bad habits. Real life is real life, saved or unsaved. The sun comes up on both of us and goes down on both of us. We all need to create boundaries in our lives so when the sun goes down at night we are safe. Boundaries keep us safe from others and ourselves. My book doesn’t talk of others invading our space but it happens all the time primarily because we don’t have a white picket fence that keeps them out. If we choose not to formulate, set and defend our own personal Biblical Boundaries we will never be able to keep others out of our space. As a Christian we are not to be doormats. None of the Biblical characters were doormats nor did they allow others to invade them. They endured for the Truth with those who would persecute them for the truth (read Acts). If someone is invading you for their good you need to put up a white picket fence and stand behind it. People who deliberately hurt you for their own good pleasure need to be stopped. You will be ineffective in the Body of Christ if you allow it to continue. With that said let us move on.
The characters in The White Picket Fence learn in the first week they must create boundaries if they are ever to reach any goal God sets for them. When God asks you to do something that is a goal He has set for you. Each character including the protagonist find God has given them a goal. Setting boundaries not only gets you to a goal in one piece but it changes your character alone the way. You will find when you begin to realize you need boundaries that if is about your character traits right from the start. We all have morals but those morals are blurry on most days. You might think stealing from the poor is wrong but stealing from the rich is okay. You might think lying to get out of trouble is wrong but lying to make a friend feel better is okay. Can you see where the blurry comes in? This is what I call a wavey line boundary. The wind, the day, the month, the mood or the friend can cause you to wave over to their side breaking the moral boundary you have almost set. If you keep jumping over your white picket fence one day your foot will get caught and a very large ditch will be there for you to fall in.
In Matthew 5:37 Jesus says, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” He said this in conclusion talking about making vows we continuously break. The vows we make to ourselves mean just as much as the ones we make to others. What is more important than that is the last part of this verse. Any answer other than “yes” or “no” when that is required is from the evil one. When you set a boundary or vow to yourself and the answer is supposed to be “no” when you say “yes” it is from the evil one. In other words, you are not serving Jesus by catering to people against His will you are serving the devil. Make now mistake, even doing good can be from the evil one. If God has not asked you to do it than you are disobeying Him and serving Satan.
Setting and defending boundaries is not easy. If it were everyone would do it. The world is going to hell in a hand basket because of the works they are doing. We are to be set apart and doing the works of Jesus. That means setting Biblical Boundaries based on what God is asking you to do. If He is asking you to give more money then boundaries need to be set on your spending. If He is asking you to teach then boundaries must be set on your time learning. If He is asking you to serve the elderly then boundaries must be set on your time with the young. If He is asking you to write then boundaries must be set on your social life. Each time Jesus asks you to do something He expects you will do it. If you are not able to do it because of life constraints then change your life because what we do for Jesus will have a much larger impact on the world.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first because our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.
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The Ditch and The Will of God
Your mansion at the top of the hill is waiting for you. It is not for someone else it is just for you. Can you see it? Do you want it? The only way to get it is self-control. I think that we may need to talk about this over and over again because we are human and we slow learners. I want to draw your attention to a story Matthew 16 and Mark 8 relay to us. Jesus has previously fed 5000 not including women and children. The disciples picked up 12 baskets at the end. Then, Jesus feeds 4000 not including women and children. The disciples picked up 7 baskets of left overs. The Pharisees and Sadducees came to test Jesus unsuccessfully and He calls them out for holding to the tradition of men rather than the commands of God. When He is finished talking to them they get into the boat again and Jesus says to the disciples, who forgot the bread, to beware of the leaven of the Pharisees. They are confused but Jesus clarifies.
The thing that bothered Jesus most was the fact they forgot about the feeding of the 9000 not including women and children. In Mark’s Gospel, directly after this confrontation with both the Pharisees then the Disciples, he tells a story about the blind man gaining his sight from Jesus step by step. This is how we are all going to learn about Jesus and His will for us. If we do not enact self-control during this process we will never know the will of God for our lives. Our mansion on the hill will be forever out of our reach. The ditch teaches us what we need to change and if we do not learn self-control in the ditch we will stay there. We need to learn two very important precepts to getting out of the ditch – know what put you in and what you need to do to get out.
The Ditch in His Will
You are in the ditch because you are on the road to your mansion. If you weren’t you wouldn’t care about being in the ditch so much because it would just be part of life. The joy that we have for being a Christian makes us wonder why the ditches even exist for us. There is only one reason for the ditch, to learn. We learn two precepts though, to continue learning and to obey God. Our first trip into the ditch on the road to our mansion is perplexing. It causes us to question the path we are on. Is this God’s will for us? Is that my mansion or a mansion from God?
God causes us to go into the ditch to test our faith and our obedience. If we pass the test we will have strengthened our faith and our resolve to obey God. Whether we believe it or not His will is happening even while we dwell with the frogs and the snakes. We look in front of us to see a frog and a snake making their way to our mansion faster than we are. This causes great anguish and more questions. Why do those who disobey God seem to have what we desire? We are in this ditch dwelling for days, months, years and those reptiles are advancing to our mansion. We try and try but cannot get out of the ditch. Finally, we stop to ask – why am I in here and what do I have to do to get out.
In His Will in the Ditch
I think I spent the first four years of salvation in the ditch. Then, God made me start writing about the things I was learning. I was still in the ditch. He had a plan for me to get out but it was my plan not yours. I want to say to you – do this or do that – but I cannot because I do not know what God is doing in your life right now. All I can say to you is, “God has a plan for this ditch and He will work it out in your life.” You will see others advancing in what seems to be your will. You will see others never see the inside of a ditch.
What we need to do while we are in the ditch is believe God and let Him tell you how to get out. I know exactly how hard that is. From day one of salvation I was a ditch dweller. How does one believe God’s goodness when one is overcome by reptiles? He taught me how to believe Him and He will teach you too. I know you want the seven steps out of the ditch and the five ways to avoid the ditch (so did I) but if it is God’s will for you to be in the ditch, the steps I give you will not work. You need to follow His will for you in the ditch or you will stay there.
A Contented Ditch Dweller
The ditch Is not a nice place to dwell. Even the mature Christians gets caught in the ditch sometimes. If we are unwilling to ask the two questions of God that will make our life easier even the maturest in God’s knowledge will dwell for a while. Maturity should mean we are asking the question faster and getting to the work sooner than someone who is new to Christianity. Why am I in the ditch is not a weird question nor is it intruding into things we shouldn’t know. It is a smart question those who love Jesus ask all the time even for other Christians. God will reveal the why’s to us if we ask. Asking what we need to do to get out of the ditch is also a very smart question. You can try on your own until you have no strength left if you wish but you will still have to petition God for answers. The ditch always brings us to the will of God.
Following the will of God for our life is why we know about the mansion. It is why we desire the mansion on the hill. It is how we see the mansion. It is why we exist. The joy of God means we will not ditch dwell even when we are in the ditch. We will be content in the ditch because we know we are still in the will of God. The way God teaches us shows us how to get out of the ditch every time. Once we have a history of escaping the ditch we believe He will do it again so we remain in joy while ditch dwelling knowing He will remove us when it is His will to remove us. While you are in the ditch you might as well have fun. Play leap frog and Snakes and Latter’s. Don’t start playing before you learn the truth about why you are in the ditch and how you are going to get out.
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I Think I Want that Thingamabob Part 1
Power Your Self-control
I think I might want that thingamabob. I think I deserve that thingamabob. That thingamabob can be anything from money to what money can buy. It can be better money management skills to better character traits. It can be a child to a marriage. That thingamabob is what occupies your mind and your works. It is where you place all your time and your money. How bad do you want this thing? Do you want it bad enough to work for it? Do you want it bad enough to wait for it? Do you want it bad enough to give up something for it? How bad do you want it?
Everyone has desires of grandeur at one time or another. Desires of grandeur is good but we prove ourselves worthy of grandeur by the mundane, by the everyday, by the simplistic works we do. God’s Word tells us, He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much (Luke 16:10). It is our daily mundane desires that get us to the grand desires. Without the mundane grand is not grand. There are those who are born into grand who never develop the skills for the mundane until they become homeless. There are those who are homeless who never develop the skills for the grand until they win the lottery. These folks may never develop the skills. It might be ingrained in us to be rich or it might be ingrained in us to be poor. Either way there are thingamabobs we want and if we are to get them we need to learn to go after them. There are two skills we definitely need if we are to acquire that thing and we will need two blogs to cover them. The first is self-control and the second is the plan. Both of these take commitment, steadfastness and patience.
Your Self-Control is Your Power
Our powerlessness comes from lacking self-control. Most of us are not wired for self-control. Our soul is corrupt unless we are conforming to the will of God. We are saved by God to do His good works and that is what we should control ourselves in doing. So, let’s just say for the sake of this blog that you are going after the will of God and not your own will because God will frustrate you on every turn if you are not. Nothing I say will make sense to you or work for you if God is against you. We are going to want that thingamabob for Jesus and His people.
I like to think of my power as electricity going from house to house. Our electrical power comes from Niagara Falls. One of the great wonders from God. Power goes from God to each of us like the electrical wires from Niagara Falls go to each house. Each one of us is an independent receiver of power in the whole from the Power House. Our body is wired with our individual desires from the Power House that feed the Body of Christ who is fed by Jesus which in turn feeds our body with new power again. We need to control this power lest our bill get to high.
Control Your Commitment
No matter what we want we must commit to having it. We are wired with God’s desires for us but He does not make our feet move. God has placed many desires in our heart. To have them we must commit all of our ways to the Lord and trust Him for Him to bring them to pass (Psalm 37:5). Wiring our self-control persistently toward this end will result in having it. If we committed to serving Jesus what we do will come to pass. This is a twofold process for us. We need commit to the works of Jesus and we need to commit our control to the works of Jesus. You know exactly what I am talking about. One day we want to lose control and serve self. Should we not control our commitment to Jesus it will commit to self. Then we will have to go through the process of rewiring it to commit to Jesus again. If this happens we need to be steadfast at rewiring quickly back to self-control.
Control Your Steadfastness
Controlling our steadfastness is not easy. We want to run all over the place and feed every house with our power. We need to control what we are setting our face too. There are good works and there are God works. Anyone can do good works but can everyone be steadfast at doing God works. If we could we would all be at the works of God rather than the works of self. It takes an infusion of power from the Power house Himself to be steadfast. Sometimes just touching the Wire will give us enough of a jolt to go back to being steadfast on our route but sometimes we need to be surrounded by an electrically charged fence to stay on path. Then, selfishly, we feel like we are imprisoned by this thing. It is sucking the life out of us with no noticeable fruit. The Source comes along and jolts us back to His reality and we control our desire to quit. We rewire our control to stay the course and are patient once again.
Control Your Patience
Along with self-control patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). As much as we do not want to control ourselves we do not want to be patient with people or God. Controlling our patience means we are conceding to a power higher than ourselves. We are conceding to the timing of God. We are not standing still we are conceding the thing we desire is going to come from God anyway so we might as well wait for Him to bring it about. I have to tell you once you come to this conclusion it is freeing. We do not have to work at this desire we just need to prepare ourselves for when it comes. That does not mean we will not again become impatient because it is a desire from God and He throw electrical bolts at it once in a while to remind us what we are getting ready for. This just shows us how much He loves us. The Power source lives inside us and He is waiting patiently for us to be ready to go. When we are ready to go He allows us to go. Along with this long awaited go are new grander desires so we don’t think we have arrived. We can always do so much more, more than we can even think or desire (Ephesians 3:20).
The Power in Self-Control
If you haven’t received the message yet, here it is – there is more power in self-control than any other place. God teaches us about power by showing us His self-control. Jesus taught us about power through His self-control. He could have called down legends of angels to save Him but He did not (Matthew 26:53). He could have unleashed all manner of miracles but He did not (John 13:31). This same power lives in us and we are expected to tap into it especially when we are working for Jesus. Our work is supposed to draw people to the Father who supplies the Power. If you want that thingamabob you must have self-control in the area of commitment, steadfastness and patience but even that will not work if you do not have a plan. Next week we will look at planning that thingamabob you want.
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Know Your God
When I was first saved I was ignorant of the power of God in my life but I could see it in others’ lives or at least I thought I could. My ignorance resulted in my belief God was under our control. I learned all manner of lies and believed them. The biggest problem with that is I could not predict what God would do next. I was always surprised by what He was doing. God can surprise us but that is not what He wants to do. He wants us to know Him well enough to know what His next move will be. The reason we are living such unspectacular lives is because we are controlling God, He is not controlling us.
The maturity of the skills we use to get what is available to us through the Father is concurrent with our knowledge of Him. For example, when setting a boundary regarding a person who is toxic to you (Christian or non-Christian) an immature in knowledge of God (IK) Christian would just stay away from that person based on their out of control reaction while in their presence. A mature in knowledge of God (MK) Christian would be seen in their presence but have a boundary to mind their own business while talking to them. The difference is striking between the two. The power is different between the two. The knowledge is different between the two. How they control themselves is different between the two. How they manage the life God has given them is different between the two.
In the example above the immature in knowledge Christian will avoid those she does not get along with and blame it on them. When we argue with a fool we look like a fool as well. Although the IK Christian doesn’t know that yet because she is not in the know with Jesus. Her life skills are lacking because she has absolutely no idea yet the Bible is an encyclopedia of knowledge in how to improve our life skills. She continues to avoid the lessons therein because she thinks the world has all the answers. She cannot manage the little number of gifts given to her by God; they are being managed by the world still. Day by day the Father teaches her about how to manage the life He has bestowed upon her. He buries a dream deep in her that He puts on fire every so often to draw her to Him. She continues to wonder how she will have the dream burning within her. She works hard to get it with worldly skills but all of her work fails. She continues to lose control of her emotions, she continues in debt, she continues to argue, she continues to set goals that will fail and she continues to think like the world. In her personal time with God she is learning the dream is God’s not hers. She is losing the fight to control her life. She is relenting more each day until one day she becomes an MK Christian.
The mature in the knowledge Christian faces the God she knows constantly because He speaks truth into her life. She gives her heart to Jesus over and over again until He does what He wants with it. Her actions reflect His way and her thinking His thoughts. She begins to manage her goods for His glory and she sees the dream He has planted in her as hers to live. Everything she does is toward that dream. She begins to control her behaviour when in the presence of those she previously had lost control. She thinks about the souls of others before her own because her hope is established within her. Knowing Jesus has freed her to work toward her dream knowing He will establish that too. She praises Jesus for who He is and burns to introduce Him to other people His way. She is different from everyone else. Her life is salvaged by our God and she knows it. Her knowledge keeps getting deeper of her God through His Words to her. Her life has become skills the Biblical way.
Our life skills will never improve without our God to show us how to improve them and for what reason. He burns a dream in your heart and it is for that reason you will improve every life skill. Knowing God is the only way to find the answers. His knowledge pours out over us like a drip at first then He floods us with His knowledge as we use it to mature our skills to His glory. We have to search for people who have mature skills and ask God to explain it to us. We tolerate being in the presence with those whose skills are set against God and ask Him to explain it. We must be with those who know Jesus because they know how to be different. Being with them shows us how to be different. The difference is simply in our education. I want the whole world to say there is something different about me and I want that for you too. Don’t let the prospect of being different scare you, educate yourself and know your God!
