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The Time is Right!
The Wrong Time!
Leola sits in the front window dreaming about being on a ranch, in the Southern United States, riding horses and working the ranch. She has had this dream since she was a child but it has never come to pass. She thinks she was too lazy to go after it or too uninvolved in her own life to actual make it come true maybe simply side tracked. She was born in the wrong time, in the wrong city to the wrong parents. She just feels like her whole life is just wrong. Her vacations reflect country life with streams of rushing clean water and her mind is always going to country living. She dreams of redecorating her house to look like a country cabin. Her dreams of the Life Skills Center are all inside a country house with a wrap around porch for the women to have alone time and swing their cares away. The laziness and the work of it all draws her attention. She sees someone riding a horse and she is off daydreaming about doing it herself yet she has only ridden a horse twice. She loves to watch movies about ranches and horses. Oh, how she wishes she were born down South one hundred years ago.
When Leola was reading romance novels she would always choose the westerns. Her dream was not only to be born during that time but also to be married to a rancher. They would struggle together to make it work and it would flourish. “How childish,” she thought, “to have this dream still!” Sam, her husband, is aware of this dream because they discussed what they thought they would be when they grew up. She loves to watch the westerns from the fifties and sixties with Sam. He wasn’t shocked about her dream because his dreams were just as wild. Leola knows most people dream of a life when they are children but don’t see it come to fruition as an adult. Some are just too extravagant, some to wild and some are just plain impossible. Sam and Leola dreamed the impossible for the time they lived in and the people they were. One of the things they had in common is a love of the country so they vacation in the country. She has the best of both worlds where they live and she is happy but she still pines every now and then for what could have been. Or could it have been? God will show her she is useful in this era!
God’s timing is so frustrating for most of us. He takes people from us to soon, He moves us to other pastures to late, His plan looks like it makes no sense some times, He doesn’t bring us what we need when we think we need it and He makes us live in a time we feel uncomfortable living in. We feel useless because we are doing nothing we deem important. If we could just be in this time what we had to do would be important. It would be time consuming and we wouldn’t have to dream about being productive because we would be. We are waiting on a God we don’t expect the expected from. We have experienced the unexpected and we don’t like it. Solomon tells us He has made everything beautiful in its time even if we feel out of place and awkward we are in our time. As long as we remain in the dream of other times we will not see the beauty in our time. God will put a dream of eternity in our heart that will satisfy us but still we will question because we cannot know the work that God does from beginning to end.
The Right Time!
Still staring out the window God begins to point out the beauty in her world today, right now! All the things she loves today were not even a glimmer in the eyes of the inventors one hundred years ago. God had created her for this time because He wanted her to follow His plan for this moment in history. She is not living in the past nor is she living in the future she is living today and today is where God wants her. It is frightening to give up the dream she has had for so many years. It gave her comfort but it also caused her sorrow for what she didn’t have. There is nothing now. No dream of a ranch, no dream of horses, no dream of a house on rolling hills with a view of a running stream. Her feeling of being useless is overwhelming her. What is to work for? No future images to look forward too. Leola will spend a good six months with no future dream and no goals to go with it. God waited for her to be completely stripped of that time then He went to work. God brought her to Revelation where she discovered the dream she should have. The New Earth and the New Jerusalem are her dream now. She wonders about it and has great joy thinking about it. The God she so longs to be with will be there. Jesus has put a great dream in her head and it will be hers in the right time!
Scripture tells us we are to be eternity minded to see Jesus. If we continue to allow our mind to wander into our time and our space alone He can not be found. He is our future as Christians. He is in the right time with the Father and speaking to us through the Holy Spirit. In the Fathers time He will bring us into the future to a beauty we cannot even fathom but He did give us clues in Revelation about what the New Jerusalem will look like. I want to be there, do you? The time is eternity, the time is right!
Meditation Verses: Ecclesiastes 3:11; Revelation 21; 22
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The Strong Survive
The Animal Kingdom
While watching Animal Kingdom Leola was given a revelation from God. Among us in the church there are the strong and there are the weak. Thank the Lord we don’t eat each other although we do try to consume each other. What is it making one person strong and the other weak? She asks herself, “Am I strong or am I weak?” Then God asks here clearly, “Which do you choose?” Good questions. Of course she would choose strong but that is so much easier to say than to do. Strength doesn’t come from how well she can control others it comes from how well she can control herself. It comes from how well she does what the Lord has assigned for her. It comes from how much she knows Him. The strong, she thinks, survive what God has in store for them! There are two very prominent character traits of the strong, trust and courage. They are interchangeable daily. Strong people trust God to do what He says He will so they stand before the daunting task with courage. Every time they act with courage and survive they trust more. The strong have the courage to do what God tells them to do because they trust Him. Every time they trust Him they acquire more courage. How often does our Lord say, “Fear not and take courage!” Trust Him and stand before the task with courage to do what He wants us to do is the main theme. Can we learn this from the animal kingdom? No, we cannot, Leola tells herself! Their strong survive by instinct, size and fierceness! They fight for dominance and they win by fighting to injure, maim or kill. For the animal kingdom winning is living but for the Kingdom of God the strong are dying to live!
Only the dead will survive in the Kingdom of God. It is not about animal strength or instinct or even reasoning, it is about how well we kill ourselves and fill our lifeless bodies with God. In the Kingdom of God it is about giving others your food not eating it yourself. It is giving away our riches to provide for others. It’s about becoming foolish to gain wisdom. It’s about getting to the back of the line to be first in line. All of this goes against the grain of our world. It goes against the grain of our own soul. This is a fight we can only win when we concede. When we concede our strength becomes boundless.
The Kingdom of God
The people who are in the Kingdom of God kill themselves. They don’t wait to be killed by the dominant animal in the group or by predators. As they kill themselves God dominates them and that is when they become strong. They are not surviving by instinct and they don’t have to chase down their prey – God supplies it. This is the most peculiar concept in the world for Leola who is fiercely independent. God bids her to want the Kingdom of God by proving He can be trusted! Leola is killing what God tells her to kill because she trusts He will replace it with better. She improves what He tells her to improve because she trust He is going to use that someday. She only has the courage to do any of it because she trusts God to keep her safe. God knows Leola will survive in the Kingdom of God because He gives her His strength to survive.
It is not easy to trust God enough to kill yourself but to survive in the Kingdom of God we must learn to trust Him. The more we put our own life on the line the more courage we get because we tap into the strength given to us by God to do what He wants us to do. He created us knowing we would be filled with fear and doubt and He told us over and over He would be our strength. He has proven Himself to be faithful to us therefore we should prove ourselves to others to be strong enough to survive.
Meditation Verses for this week: Psalm 8 (HCSB Version). This versions speaks directly to this. Believe verse four when it says that we were created a little lower than God because the original Hebrew uses the word Elohim. Another verse to prove this out is 1 Corinthians 6:3 Do you not know that we shall judge angels? How much more, things that pertain to this life? We are made a little lower than God – does that make you feel strong enough to survive. I hope so?
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The Answer to Every Question!
The Question
A question was asked at church this Sunday morning Leola knew right away the answer of or did she! If you could ask Jesus one question what would it be? That was the question? The only question allowed? Her question would be to ask why He waited until her forties to put this dream into her heart. And why can we only ask one question because surely the answer to that question would result in another one? This question bothered her for several days. Is life for him or anyone else about just one question? What if we ask the wrong question? Will it change our destiny? Why are we asking the question we are asking? Is one question better than another or do they all lead to one big answer? Leola thought and thought about what that question should be just in case the first question was the wrong question. She had to decide THE question. If she could come up with the perfect question would the answer be sufficient to answer all of her questions. Is there such a question?
She has been helping women with their life skills for twelve years and knows there is a plethora of questions to be answered but the answer is different for every single woman. You can ask ten questions of one woman to lead them into the answer they are looking for yet it might take one hundred to lead another. Each question depends on our direction and the level of truth we can handle. When Leola designs workshops the questions she asks never have one answer for that exact reason. The questions she asked are design to make women think about what answer they want. Some are even designed to make them think about what they don’t want because they may need to start there to make change. Some questions are designed to draw them directly to Jesus for the answer. How can she help women grow if she didn’t allow multiple answers from just one question? The problem is that question always leads to another one consequently we cannot stop at one question? What is stopping us from asking four thousand questions? Only Jesus knows!
Jesus asked a lot of questions of us in His ministry. He never stopped asking questions. Questions define what direction we are headed in. They help us focus on what is important. John tells us Thomas asked a powerful question after Jesus told us He is leaving to go to the Father. He asked in John 14 verse 5, “how can we know the way?” How indeed can we know the way? Would that question answer all of our questions? According to Jesus, yes. All the questions we ask lead us straight to the Father if we think about them. We think they may be self-serving but each time we allow the answer to come from Jesus it will lead us to the Father. The whole of Chapter 14 has Jesus telling us He is the answer to every question. How do I do this? Do what I tell you and it will happen! How can I do this? Take strength in Me and do can it! Where will I get what I need? Trust Me and you will have it!
The Answer
As Leola ponders all the questions people ask her in her classes plus all the questions she has asked over the years, she comes to the conclusion one question is not enough to fully get any answer. Some questions are relevant, irrelevant, nosey, inappropriate and appropriate but all are worth an answer that leads to another question. Jesus asked a lot of questions of us to help us discern what it is we want. We can ask people questions but we are still asking the questions that help us discern what we want. Our problem is who we are asking answers of. Who should answer our questions? Who can answer our questions? In her experience, only Jesus has been able to answer her questions with the truth she is looking for. No one can tell her where she is going because only Jesus knows that. No one can tell her what direction to go because only Jesus knows that. No one can tell her how to serve His women because only Jesus knows the way to do that. The relevant questions that need answers need to be asked of Jesus because He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. We cannot get to the Father who has all the answers if we do not ask the questions of Jesus (John 14:6). What He tells us is what the Father tells Him based solely on the plan the Father has for us (John 14:24). How wonderful is this to know? Knowing this tells Leola exactly where to go for answers and exactly what to do. The only answer she can rely on is Jesus. He is the answer to every question she has and He is the answer for every woman she serves. Jesus is the answer!
Jesus is the answer because the question leads to the way He wants us to go. Every question we ask relies on what the Father has planned for us. Should I go here or there? Should I do this or that? Here, there, this or that are all part of the grand plan of the Father. You might go here while I go there so you can do this and I can do that then we come together to do thus! Our whole life is planned out by the Father but we have to walk in it using Jesus as our answer to every question about direction. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and no one comes to the Father except through Him and that is the answer to every question.
Meditation Chapter for this week: John 14
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His Dream is Deeper!
The Tit for Tat!
Setting her mind on the things of Heaven is one thing but setting her mind on doing what is His way is another thing all together. Leola is working on doing the right thing and has not been able to learn how to set her mind on lining up what she believes with what she needs to do. The struggle in her mind is how she has been used by people before to fulfill their goals without consideration for her goals. It is that whole tit for tat concept; you rub my back and I’ll rub yours. Those concepts are getting Leola nowhere in her life and her bitterness is definitely holding her back. She gave up on her dreams and packed it in because she was being used by so many people to accomplish their goals. Her goals were not being accomplished. She still worked hard for the Body of Christ but not toward the dream she had. She really had no goals for herself anymore which was ironic to her since she taught for years having goals is paramount in our life. What she didn’t understand was her goals need to be transformed into God’s goals. She is rewriting her goals.
Years ago, when God lead Leola to begin teaching life skills, she was very excited to do it. She is gifted with teaching and writing. This was going to be easy to accomplish. She would do fantastic at it and make millions in no time, goal set! Then, Hope Devoted Life Skills Center for Women would open its doors in Essex County with those millions, and women would flock from all over Canada to be trained, another goal set. Franchises would open in every province and women would flourish under the care of Hope Devoted, the perfect vision. Then, Leola discovered the truth. Just because she had the dream did not mean it was going to happen. There have been too many times she worked hard to get somewhere and someone else’s dream advanced instead of hers. She is going to throw in the towel because maybe she heard God wrong. Maybe the dream she had belongs to someone else and not her, taking into account she has seen so many people advance in teaching what she had been teaching for years. She is watching many people succeed in their ministries leaving her behind. It does look to her like she is not going in the right direction. She can see that people are hardly having to work and are successful but she is working hard to get nowhere. The sound of failure is ringing in her ears so loud she cannot hear anything else but God will remove the ringing and start reminding her the old dream is about to come alive again.
Have you ever questioned your directions because it doesn’t seem to be going in the direction you thought it would? For several years I have been questioning and losing verve over my direction. God has kept me going thankfully but I had lost hope in the old dream. I have been praying for someone else to pick it up and was okay with mentoring someone else to do it but at least I was hoping it would get done. I did get to the point of giving up on it! At that point my heart was truly broken because I wanted to do it so badly. I began to pray for a new goal. What am I going to do with my life? Just sit in my Jesus Room and read the Bible? Teach one woman the Bible weekly? Run a retreat for seven women bi-monthly? I’m okay with this but I need Jesus to remove the dream I had from before because it is killing me not to do it! Then, events started happening regarding the old dream because of new events taking place. John 14:26 started coming to life for me. All these years I had been taught by the Holy Spirit the new things I needed to know so the old things I already knew could take place. I cannot describe the moment I discovered this to be happening and I cannot today describe the feeling but I can describe the knowledge. Jesus said it and it will be! I know that more now than yesterday!
The Deep!
The ringing in her ears turns out to be the Holy Spirit blocking out any other dream she is dreaming up. She is by nature a dreamer and the Holy Spirit had to step in to stop the dreaming. His plan for her had to happen and He needed her to stop all fleshly dreaming and start conforming to His plan even thought she was convinced it was dead. He has been showing Leola the direction to go, she goes and then He reminds her of the time He told her this exact event would happen. How impossible it all seemed to her from over there, but now that she is here, she can begin to see it happening. She is not as giddy as she was when she was young because she is more mature now. It has all spun into joy rather than happiness. Happy was she to be able to help women when she was young but God has matured her into someone who now sees the joy and the sorrow with helping women become women of God. It is found deeper in her soul rather than more of a surface goal. The goal has to be number one outside of the surface emotions taking place. She needs to keep the goal at the front of her mind and do what needs to be done. It is hard for Leola to describe the feeling. She now knows how shallow and fluffy her emotions and her conviction to be successful were about this deep task she is about to embark on. The Lord could not have that, not for one second! When He sends her to accomplish this goal He needs to know she is committed to His goal for life! He has made His point! She will wait in the deep because that is the only place Jesus is!
I am convinced on this day just as yesterday and the years before God tells us from the beginning what His plan is for us. Thankfully He doesn’t tell us what we are going to go through to get to the deep point where He can actually use us for that task. Sometimes, like Gideon, His plan is quick but then there are others, like Joseph, whose plan is far off. Each one of us has the Holy Spirit living in us and directing our plan daily therefore we can be sure, if we are listening, that He will do what He said He will no matter how long it takes. The Spirit wants us to know that He is taking us through the ringer to get us to the dream He has planted deep in our soul because His dream is deeper than ours. This week get back in touch with that deep dream and live in it!
Meditation verses for this week: John 14:26; Philippians 1:6; 1 Corinthians 3:16
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Self-Serving Self
The Nothing
Leola is thinking about so many things lately that she cannot concentrate on one in particular. She is thinking about courage. How much courage does it take to be in the will of God and to be completely dependent on God? She is thinking about shallow loving. Her skills to love are shallow and she wants to love deeper. She is thinking about when God is going to use her to teach life skills again. Her mind races more often now than before. So much so that she cannot think well enough even to write her blog. She started with courage and couldn’t figure out what to say in the end. She decided to keep the idea for a future blog. The concept is lost to her. She is not sure how she will come out the other side of this whole brain fart days but she does know one thing – God knows everything and He knows about this too.
What subject does He want her to write about? If I go into the Bible and finger pick a verse will it give her revelation? Will anyone miss it if she didn’t post a blog? She is resting on the idea that this is a good thing because she is not as frustrated as she used to be. In the olden days she would have spent hours on the computer typing away and throwing it all away. She would shout at God because He is the one who gave her this talent to write in the first place. If he wants her to write He will give her the ideas but they all seem so far away. There is nothing!
In the fifteen years I’ve written for God I have had many days where I couldn’t write a thing. All of the ideas work out to nothing so I have come to one and only one conclusion when this happens – I have begun to rely on myself to do the writing. Proverbs 3:5 says we should trust in the Lord with all of our heart and lean not on our own understanding. When our own understanding takes over it is hard to trust in God. The work that we do, as good as it sounds, is not the work of God but the work of ourselves. It is self-serving even if it is for God. Courage to do what He wants us to do comes from Him alone. Deep love for His people will also come from Him. When God asks us to do something He will provide the way to do it. All we have to do is obey and trust.
The Worthlessness of Understanding Understanding!
There have been many times when Leola thought she was doing the will of God but she was doing what she had understood His will to be. She thinks about courage and thinks about shallow love but knows that even those huge topics belong to God. Leola cannot have courage to do what the folks in the book of Acts did if God has not gone before her to get the people ready to receive her. She will never love anyone with any kind of depth until God gives her the understanding to do it. She has been racking her brain to figure out how to do these things and cannot. They are to deep for her. Her understanding is worthless to her because her understanding proves she doesn’t trust God enough to take care of this in His time. How she has been working hard to do what she believes God is asking her to do. Leola has got to relax and let God do the work. She is learning this concept as she learns how worthless even her understanding of her understanding is. She is reminded of a Psalm she read and will now memorize because it speaks to these times. Psalm 131 says Lord, my heart is not haughty nor my eyes lofty, neither do I concern myself with great matters nor with things to profound for me. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother. Like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Leola, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forever. [modifications mind] She has read this before and knew the implication yet forgot them. She has been talking to God for three days wondering what the problem was when all along she had fallen into the same trap of self-servingness she had fallen in so many times before. “Lord,” she says, “Please help me to recognize this sooner! Amen.”
There will be plenty of times in our lives we rely on our own understanding without even knowing it. It will sneak up on us and cause lawlessness or staleness in our walk with God. If we are going along like gangbusters then all of the sudden we are stopped check whose work we are doing. If we are aware that sin has crept into out walk with God, check whose work we are doing. Be vigilant about who we are following because we want to follow Jesus if we want our work to be good work.
Meditation verse for this week: Proverbs 3:5; Psalm 131
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Our Effective Control
The Awakening
As she sits on her ‘have-to-have-it’ couch she thinks back to when there were no choices to make. As a child she was told what to do and as a teenager she fought to make choices of her own. She had no idea at the time what a mess she will make with that right. Then, when she became an adult Leola made too many wrong choices. Too many choices with her time and too many ungodly choices with her morals. The result of that is she has too much furniture, gadgets, clothes, food, body fat, shoes and worse, flimsy morals. Leola just has too much of everything except money and godly morals. How did she get so out of control? Loela was not watching her future nor was she controlling her current wants. She has in effect lost control of herself.
Leola has seen the word ‘sober’ in the bible! It always brought to mind alcohol but she is getting a good picture of what sober means outside of drinking. She wonders if there is much of a difference between what she has been doing with her life and what someone who is drunk all the time is doing. They make impulsive decisions weighing the cost later when they are sober yet is that any different than what she is doing? Are either one of us clear-headed when we are sober? She is recklessly spending her life on useless things meant for instant gratification. She knows it isn’t going to last because she will soon be bankrupt. Her husband, Sam, is frustrated with her spending. As long as Sam stays in the dark about all the purchases and donations he will never voice his frustrations and she is off the hook. Leola has become accustomed to deceiving her husband. She isn’t seeing how ineffective she is at this deception; she is sound asleep.
Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober (1 Thessalonians 5:6). We need to make sure we do not fall asleep while we are living our life for Jesus. We have a roaring lion following us around whose goal it is too make us ineffective in the Body of Christ and in the world. Our effectiveness depends on our own self-control. This is something we need to learn over time. Self-control doesn’t just show up overnight, it is learned. It takes a little self-control to gain a lot of self-control. The issue with lack of control is it engulfs our whole life and our whole being. If we lose control in one area I am pretty sure we have lost control in many other areas. Let’s think about alcohol for a minute. Someone who drinks to excess has lost control of the alcohol but what has he lost control of before the drink. The area God will go after to get control over is what is causing our life to be ineffective right now. Once we are effective at controlling that other areas to control will show up.
The Conviction
One more lie won’t change anything except Leola. God has had enough of the deception. She has lost control of the truth! God ordained her to teach women life skills but how will she be able to be of any effect to them when lying has become her norm instead of the truth. She is extremely grieved by her behaviour. She looked around the room to see all the money she has spent on frivolous stuff. Sam was right! It is time to clean this mess up. Leola would embark on a two year quest to get rid of the frivolous stuff everywhere in the house and control her spending. The first thing she had to do was stop lying to her husband. Leola has asked the Holy Spirit to convict her on this because it has become so habitual she won’t catch it fast enough before the dirty deed is done. Since Sam is not saved yet, his only view of Jesus is her. She is determined to be a good effect on him and anyone else she teaches!
It takes a long time to clean up a mess that was years in the making. When we lose control it effects our whole life as well as the people around us. Discord is the mainstay with loss of control but we don’t first try to fix it, we attempt to hide it, making everything worse. Paul wants us to watch and be sober about our life because our Lord Jesus Christ is coming back and we do not want to be caught in the middle of dishonouring Him when the trumpet blows. Fear not because you can do this! God has chosen us, equipped us and set us to His work that we would be effective to all, honouring Him.
This weeks meditation verses: 1 Thessalonians 5:6; 1 Peter 5:8-9; 2 Timothy 1:7
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Believe Him!
Hearing Him!
God has been speaking to Leola as she reads His Word and teaching her things she ought to know (Isaiah 43:19). To her surprise, God is not teaching her friends the same things. She was naïve in believing God teaches everyone the same truths. As she sits on her ‘have-to-have-it’ couch, staring out the window, she ponders what God is teaching her and why her friends do not agree. Why do they disagree? The Words are right there in black and white or are they grey? Is she hearing wrong? Is it the truth? She is not sure just yet! She talked to her friend about what little she knows but her friend vehemently disagrees with her. Leola is not sure what to think and she is hurt beyond measure! Her friend has been a Christian longer than her so she is confused about what to believe. Is God saying something different to her? She is afraid to talk to her about it again because she cannot defend this truth wholly but soon she will be able too.
Leola has discovered the Holy Spirit brings her to Scriptures that seem to be controversial with her friends. Why is He doing this? She is a relatively young Christian compared to her friends. Friends are important to her because she is an extrovert who gets her energy from friendship. No friends, no energy! Elohim was about to turn that concept upside down but first He is going to teach her about the benefits of controversy! Leola continued to fight for her friendships rather than the truths she was being taught BUT Elohim continued to teach her without fail and she believed Him but kept her mouth shut about what she was learning until the day she was challenged and the Spirit set her soul on fire to speak the truth whether her friend would hear it or not!
The Lord equips us to perform His will. He will bring you to truths designed to make the hair on the back of your neck stand up but it will be because He needs you to know it. We are being inundated today by watered down truths spoken to alleviate conviction of sin and make us feel comfortable in our current belief. Disciple of Jesus does not equal comfort! We feel uncomfortable letting God tell us what to do! We feel uncomfortable implementing the truth into our lives when no one around us is. We want to be clones of our Christian friends so we can feel accepted. Jesus says to those who believe, “If you abide in My Word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31-32) The truth shall make us free to believe Him over people. It shall make you free to do what He wants you to do and to be able to stand in what you are doing. It shall make you free to be His disciple not your pastors or your friends. Being a disciple of Jesus Christ means you believe Him!
Choosing Him!
Leola was in agony because her friend did not want to have anything to do with her again but she was at peace with it. During, her sometimes heated discussion with her friend, God supplied her with information she didn’t know before to solidify this new truth. She was surprised by her reaction to her friends exit from her life – peace along with grief. Now she was beginning to learn what being a disciple of Jesus Christ meant. The next time she walked into her church building she saw life in there differently. She had lost a friend and wondered how many more she would lose before the Lord took her to be with Him. Leola has walked away from Christians who were using her to forward their own ministry but this was her first loss of a good friend over the truth. Someone she cared about! Someone she admired! This loss threw Leola into another training session with Jesus about peace in the controversy over God’s truth. He taught her the difference between fighting for His truth and her own. Today, Leola knows the difference and accepts it whole heartedly. She is making new friends who enjoy and support her in everything she is doing for the Body of Christ. She believes Him in everything He teaches her!
Abiding in the Words of Jesus is not easy and it can be controversial even inside the Body of Christ. You will lose friends who want to live a comfortable Christian life. You will lose friends you thought had a zeal for the truth. You will be questioned about what you believe. Take heed of what you hear because you DO want to hear more. If you choose your friends over Jesus, what you know will be taken away and you will get your wish to be like them. Jesus wants to reveal the truth to you, should you not know it? Believe the Words of our Saviour!
This week’s meditation verses: Mark 4:24; Luke 8:18; John 8:31-32; Isaiah 43:19
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Who am I?
The Question!
Leola is still pondering what she learned from the play last week about rising out of her sin. She knows she can change but she is not at all sure what to change first. Obedience is coming little by little and not easily. She begins her reading in Matthew 16 this morning sitting on her ‘have-to-have-it’ couch with the sun shining directly on her. Leola admires the sun and looks down at the Word. The first Words that jump out at her is the wicked and adulteress generation seeks a sign (v4). She raises her head to look out the window and ponders this in her own life. Is she seeking a sign from Jesus for her own use? She doesn’t know the answer to this question! Is her faith contingent on miracles or signs rather than who Jesus is? Is this who she is, a Pharisee? Maybe, but she doesn’t know the answer to this question either!
Reading on she comes across a ‘Jesus question’ she cannot skip over, “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?” (v13) She doesn’t know because she never asks! She wants to know who Jesus is but can it be done? If she knows who He is what significance will the answer have in her life? Leola has never much liked herself because she has always been told she is unlikeable. She never thought much about who she is because her life won’t make much of an impact anyway! Perhaps, she thinks, the real measuring stick IS Jesus and compared to Him she is nothing. Jesus is now pointing this out to her but only putting a small longing in her heart she cannot define. Forty-five years of thinking she is nothing has impacted Leola’s life so much so Jesus will have to do a mighty work to change it around! Leola depended on what others said to define who she is and she didn’t like who they told her she was. She never once thought it could be any other way. What others defined her as must be the truth, right, because they can see her better than she can see herself? As a result she only ever asked the question, “Who do people say I am?” but never, until now, will she ask, “Who am I?” and expect to learn the answer!
Many of us go through an identity crisis with or without Jesus. The spectacular advantage of following Jesus is His way of teaching us ‘who we are’ with Him in our life compared to who we were without Him. He created both of us and He knows how to bridge the gap. The difference can be staggering in some cases yet minor in others. If this is true than how do we respond to this revelation? We must be trained by Elohim to put less emphasis on who others say we are and more on who He says we are. He has gifted us differently than anyone else therefore we are created to walk in those gifts for His purpose. I cannot tell you enough about how different we are from others therefore we cannot compare ourselves to anyone we can only compare ourselves to Jesus. Who we are is who He says we are! To discern who we are we must ask, “Who do we say He is?” The answer to that question forms who we are!
Over the years Jesus has changed me so significantly I think it is noticeable yet many people have missed it. I wonder why? The face I wear in public to show everyone ‘life is great’ but behind it the cracks are numerous. My family sees the changes because they are close to me but the only person who sees every change is Elohim. He knows me better than anyone else, He sees me! Him and I are the only ones who know the extent of the transformation in me and we are the only ones who know who I am. Never will I allow another to define who I am. Others define who we are based on their history not ours. They see us through the vision of their own life and what they want from us! The whole answer cannot come from any other person, it can only come from Jesus!
The Whole Answer
Still sitting in the window, the sun making her red hair appear gold, Leola closes her eyes to ask Jesus the most significant question of her life, “Do You see me?” She waits but there is no answer! The answer to this question, many years later, will significantly change her life but for now there is another teaching for her! She lowers her head to read on. But who do you say that I am? (v15) A good question she is not sure she can answer! Again she looks out the window to ponder this question. Who is Jesus and how important is knowing who He is? The questions Jesus asks His disciples make them first think and then answer, if they can. They always elicit the truth from their soul but this time the answer came from the Spirit because they couldn’t possibly know the answer without Him. Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” (v16) When the Spirit revealed who Jesus is to Peter and he confesses it with his mouth Jesus, in turn, tells Peter who he was. Leola knows Peter does become the rock but not without rolling of a cliff a time or two first (Read Acts). She prays, “Lord, You are the Son of the Living God! Please tell me who I am?” Leola’s own voice said within her, “Find Me and you will find you, for in Me is you!” After ten years of studying Scripture to find out who Jesus is Leola can testify, indeed she is finally discovering the new Leola Elohim has created just for her! Bridging the gap has been a process she could only do with guidance of the Holy Spirit. Instead of looking at herself through the eyes of people she now sees herself through the eyes of the Father. The significance of having this information for Leola leads her to actually like herself! A first in her life!
Others vision of us can cause untold damage to our soul but who we are can be changed! Not liking ourselves leaves us susceptible to false teachers who prey on our insecurities, the devil who plants lies about who we are and consequently a rebellion against Elohim. Who we are does not depend on our work, our family, our spouse or anything else outside of Jesus. It is extremely important for us to know who He is because within Him is the truth of us! Who do YOU say He is? Do not delay in discovering who Jesus is because He IS the whole answer to the question ‘Who am I?’
This week’s meditation verses: Matthew 16
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Piece of Purpose!
The Puzzle
Waiting is not an easy thing to do. All of her life she has gone and done what needs to be done. Leola didn’t do anything without purpose. As a single parent her purpose was to provide for her sons so she went to school. As a married woman her goal was also to provide for her husband and children. Leola is an action person who always believed there was a purpose for everything even before she called herself a Christian. Now she knows God, she is pondering her Christian purpose. Can it be the same as her secular purpose? Does God even have a purpose for her?
An inner city agency has requested volunteers from her congregation to help with their goal in serving the community. Leola’s heart is burning within her! Leola has always been a worker bee! Work that needs to be done; it gets done. In groups she will take the lead when there is clearly no leader. These are traits she has utilized all of her life. She hasn’t done too much volunteer work but her heart is aching to do something so she goes to volunteer night at the agency to see if there is anything she can do. As much as she loves her own kids she is uncomfortable with other people’s kids. What is God calling her to do? What does she want to do? Should she work with kids just because the help is so desperately needed? Leola is anxious to do something, anything!
Are you wondering around going from one volunteer agency to another trying to find your purpose? Do you know God has a purpose for all of us BUT it is not the same as someone else’s? Just because an agency is desperate for volunteers is God calling us to fill the spot? We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) Just because God says we are to remember the widow and the orphan does not mean that we are called to serve them as our vocation! Jumping into something, we are not called to do, will result in failure and frustration. If we do not have the courage to quit it will lead us into a very discouraging life. Elohim wants us to know we will do something for Him but it will be according to His purpose and we are to wait for Him to lead us into that purpose!
The Piece
Her anxiety and need to do something resulted in her taking a volunteer position working with tween girls. Leola was well out of her element and she knew it. She struggled every week to do what was required of her. She hated every minute of it except the teaching portion! The leader of the agency visited her on one of those frustrating afternoons after class to check her progress. Leola told her about her struggle with the girls but how much she loved teaching. There were four weeks left to the class so she gathered up her courage to resign. Leola knew she is gifted by God to ‘teach’ but who did she want to teach? She definitely knew who she didn’t want to teach!
Leola was puzzled about what God would do in her life! Watching the news one night God revealed to her who she was going to teach. It was the same old, same old night! Feed the family, do the dishes, do the homework, do the prep work for tomorrow all while listen to the background noise except on this night the noise was funneled straight into her ears. She walked into the living room where her husband was watching TV and asked him to turn it up. There she saw a scene that broke her heart and made her instantly break into tears. Women, dead, by the hands of their abuser. A statistic flashed onto the screen so staggering it threw Leola headlong into a heart break she still feels today for the women who have and are being abused. The God Leola was beginning to love has implanted a passion in her for the welfare of women! Another piece to the puzzle of purpose revealed!
What functional gift has God given you?(if you don’t know – take a Spiritual Gifts Assessment on the internet) For what people group has God implanted a passion in your heart to serve? The answer to these questions will determine what God is asking you to do? We cannot fail if we follow Elohim to what He has dropped into our heart! Piece by piece He reveals to us what purpose He has called us too! God will take one piece of His purpose for us and work it together for the good until His whole purpose for us is revealed!
This week’s meditation verses: Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11
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With God as Your Teacher…
A look through the large picture window in Leola’s living room tells her it is a gloomy rainy day with no hope of sunshine. It’s a cold gloomy day inside Leola’s heart too. She has been true to her words to read the Bible every day although it has done nothing to defrost her frozen in time heart. She had hoped for something different but her thoughts were getting worse. She sits staring at the drops of water outside hitting her window and rolling down to the ledge wishing she was one of those drops with no feelings and no expectations. She is feeling crushed by her feelings of hopelessness. There is no hope for tomorrow to be different and no hope for the future to get better. The Bible to this point has not told her what to do about the condemnation of sin she is under. If this is what understanding is Leola wants none of it!
She doesn’t know how to fix herself! She has never watched a Christian fix themselves before. Her lack of hope invades her mind constantly. The past three years of reading the Bible and going to church have done nothing to help her as a matter of fact she is beginning to believes Scripture and church are making it worse. She has read through the Bible once, gone to multiple Bible studies and hooked up with many Christians over the years but none have admitted to trials or conviction of sin. She knows of no one who is worse off than her! She now believes her public plastic face will be the only face she will wear. Her hidden grief is almost intolerable!
We go to church and we discuss our problems with people but do we truly understand it is God who is supposed to teach us His ways not man. Sometimes it is easier to turn to man. I am completely guilty of this concept. We either do one of two things as growing Christians – we go to people or we ask our own soul! It is very peculiar that we do those things because we have known they are not successful yet we continue. Man wants what he wants and he goes the way he wants to go and our soul knows no better. We have no escape outside of obedience to God yet we try to make a way. We rely on man and his miracle pills when we expect them to fix us.
We are God’s children and as such we must learn from the Spirit what to do and how to do it. He says to us “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” (Psalm 32:8) We can count on Elohim to instruct us and to counsel us. He has counselled us to be convicted of our sin and then He instructs us in the way we should go to escape the sin. This is not an easy task but we can do it! We must do it!
At the end of one of her mind numbing days, talking about her problems with any old person, she retires to her have-to-have-it couch with her promise to read the Scriptures. Tonight, she is going to let gravity choose her reading because this is the way she rolls. She doesn’t actually care about what she is about to read because her grief has made her apathetic. She opens the Bible and drops it on her lap but doesn’t begin to read. Leola sighs and stares. It is still raining out so she listens to the sound of it hitting her front window while consorting with it. If it isn’t raining, it is raining! Each rainy day is running into the next and her grief is beginning to overwhelm her to the point of giving up. Being in Heaven will be much better than being here.
She finally looks down to see what gravity has done for her. At this point in her walk she doesn’t realize that gravity was created by God for His glory and He will use it for His glory too. Psalm, why does gravity always bring her to the Psalms? She chose Psalm 32 for her reading. As she read the tears ran down her face like the rain on her window. This God she didn’t understand and didn’t really know had written about her grief over her sin long before she was even born. She read the Psalm three times stopping each time on verse 8 to soak it in. Her grief over her life did not stop that day but God revealed Himself to her as her teacher. She would submit to Him more and more each day being instructed how to change her life one minute at a time instead of expecting a miracle. With God as her Teacher she would learn her lessons well!
We are more than capable of overcoming sin if we allow Elohim to instruct us in the way we should go. Let the Spirit counsel you within your conviction then allow Him to instruct you in the way out of sin! With God as your Teacher you will learn each lesson well!
