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Rest on Your Biblical Boundaries
Change is not easy but if part of your plan is to rest in the Lord everything will work out for the good to those who love God (Romans 8:28). Time to work the plan is all we have unless Jesus has said He wants change NOW. I can understand that directive because that has always been my directive from Jesus. He wanted the change right now from me. When I first began to follow Jesus, I was not a good Christian woman. I didn’t even begin to read the Bible until one year and two months after I got saved but when I started, change happened. When change started it was not easy and it certainly wasn’t cozy. It was painful and heart breaking. It was time consuming to make the changes Jesus wanted and if I refused He sent a punishment almost instantly. The most painful part about the changes was that it never let up. It was one right change after another with no rest in between. I was learning constantly but that was not good either. I should have rested from learning and just ingrained the boundaries and the teaching a little more. I needed to just rest in the Lord for a while but I didn’t know better. My resistance to do that was probably responsible for some of my boundaries taking longer to implement.
A planned rest from learning is very important. A rest after week five is a good idea. You have your “fence” to look at and implement into your life. In the week after you create it, spend time knowing the ramification your fence will have. Read them daily so you know them. Then, hunker in to implement them into your life every day, every minute, and every second.
Since we are in the Christmas season, with everything we do focusing on Jesus, I want you to hunker into the Bible as well. All the way through The White Picket Fence you were given verses to look up, to read and to memorize. You know every work written in there was from the Father. My ability to give you that information came from Him. My ability to interest you in the women’s stories came from Him. The strength you gain from knowing what to do will come from Him. The understanding you have of what you will need to do next will come from Him.
This is a very important process to get right. Jesus is how we do everything. He is responsible for your welfare and it takes that seriously. He also wants you to take it seriously. Your welfare is very important to Him because everything you do is for His glory. If you think He doesn’t take your welfare seriously you won’t take your welfare seriously. As a result, you will muddle through life not taking anything seriously.
From now until we talk again hunker into your boundaries and hunker into the Word of God. Talk to Jesus and believe everything He is for you. He will lead you and guide you through everything you are doing for Him. If you focus on what He is asking you to do while asking Him what each of your steps should be He will bring you into all righteousness. He will bring you into success through all your failures. He will do EVERYTHING He said He will do based on your faith in Him. Rest in the Lord and you will know true rest.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 5: Fortification
We have been through the tough stuff now and we are going to have some fun in week 5. If you have your equipment you are ready. We need to fortify ourselves with the tools we need to be successful. We need to protect ourselves by building the white picket fence with all the information we have collected to date. We did not collect this information so we can forget about it. This is the typical reaction today because we are afraid of this information. It is not easy changing a bad habit into a good one. It takes time, strength and a mass amount of courage but God is faithful to finish the work He started in you (Hebrews 12:2a).
We always need to start our story with Jesus as the foundation or we will repeatedly fail. This is going to be your testimony in the future. It is going to be what Jesus uses to help you draw people to Him in the future. He will use this to help you remain successful for the rest of your life. Fear not because He is working a work in you that will not be forgotten. Having Jesus as your foundation will give your fence the kind of strength it needs to remain upright.
Your foundational posts describe ‘you’ as you are today and who you plan to be in the future. The fence you are building is not just a fence, it is your future. It is the foundation of how you will set and defend boundaries for the rest of your life. Jesus and you will do this together. He will be with you today as you are, and He will be with you as you go about doing good for Him. He has already seen you as you will be and He knows exactly what it will take to bring you there. Trust Him every step of the way as He points you in the right direction.
The slats joining your foundational posts are temporary. They represent the thing you want to eliminate. They will be removed as Jesus teaches you how to eliminate that thing listed. As you take strength and courage from Him to stay the course, you will gain more strength and courage from your success. This is not only teaching you to be strong as you work these out, but it gives you encouragement to continue as you see yourself changing. You will change into what Jesus has created you to be. Sometimes, you will take huge steps, but other times you will feel like you are not moving at all. When you feel stalled look back at what you have accomplished in the past to see that you are not standing still but are still moving. Hang on until you begin moving at light speed again.
This week, change your mindset into a successful mindset. Stop writing down what is causing you to sin and start writing what is the things leading you to be successful. How are you eliminating sin in your life? What are you doing that is changing you? What is Jesus doing to guide you? Have you noticed changes in you for the better? Have you noticed a difference in any relationship you have since? Does the Word of God mean more to you now? Have your behaviours changed? Have your words changed? Have you seen something change unrelated to what you are currently working on? Have people commented on your changes? Write all of this down as you go along so you do not forget the progress you are making. This information will encourage you.
Your Boundary Board is a miracle that God will use to improve your life. The verse you use to encourage yourself will also be of significance to you as you work on the thing God has asked you to eliminate. He has taught you that the Word of God is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). He will continue to teach you this throughout all of your training. He will teach you this Your whole life. As long as you continue to learn from Him He will continue to teach you for what you do have He will provide more but if you refuse to be taught what you do have He will take away (Mark 4:25).
Study your fence this week and ponder your verse. Bury the verse deep into your soul as you continue to defend your boundaries. The new you is waiting for you. Jesus is waiting for you. We are all waiting for you. When you become the ‘you’ Jesus wants you to become that effects every Christian in your community. You will do what Jesus has commissioned you to do and if they are doing what Jesus has commissioned them to do the community will become a power house for Jesus. Imagine white picket fences in every house surrounding every Christian. Can you see the work that we can do? “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do.” Says Jesus in John 14. So, go and do greater works wrapped in your white picket fence.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 4: Wisdom
Up to this point you have been gaining wisdom without being aware of how much wisdom you have gained. If you have been asking Jesus for answers and He has been supplying them wisdom has been embroiled in all of those answers. There was prep work for you to do from Week 3 and if you did it you will know what you look like when you are on the other side of this transgression. The thing God has asked you to stop doing or to start doing will lead you into a specific character trait or state of mind. Up until this point this trait was flawed because of this transgression. God is working at perfecting it in you starting from this point.
In the past several weeks you have learned to become aware of your transgressions, what leads to your transgressions and how to begin intervening on your own behalf along with Jesus. If you follow the book The White Picket Fence you will have been journaling all of these pieces of information. Somewhere along the line, if you have been speaking to Jesus, you will have had a revelation from Jesus. When you invite Jesus to help you intervene on your transgression He doesn’t waste any time revealing to you what needs to be done. The thing I love more every day about Jesus is when He asks us to stop doing that “thing” He also gives us a replacement for it. He is working to make us who He created us to be if we would just trust Him to go where He sends us. I know exactly how hard trusting Him is for us mere humans especially us women who have been hurt by human men. We can do it in time. If the Word says we can trust Him we can be guaranteed we can (do a search because I don’t have enough blog room to quote them all).
The wisdom we get is from Him. You are learning this week the wisdom behind knowing what makes you tick. We need to discern the behaviours causing us to transgress by writing them down. It is one thing to think them but writing them down shows us the behaviours in real life. One bit of information I want you to know is when they are in our head the devil has no access to them but once you write them down they become food for his eyes. When we start discerning what the devil is using to make us transgress he will step up his game. This is part of the wisdom Jesus wants us to know. When we determine to follow Jesus, the devil will begin to trip us so we fall head first into the ditch on our path. I want you to know it is not Jesus tripping us, but if He thinks we need to be tripped to learn to obey Him, He will let the devil trip us.
Learning what the easiest spark to eliminate is, and going after completely elimination of that one first, will give you the strength you need to eliminate all of them up to the hardest. To be successful at this you must determine to do this daily to work this out in your life. Wisdom is useless if it is only used intermittently.
By this week if you are lukewarm about eliminating sin you are in disobedience. Jesus said in John 13:17 that if you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. This verse would spur you with its goodness but if you need to be shocked into doing the will of God you can go to James 4:17. Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin. Eventually, as you continue in the will of God, the blessing verses will spur you on to do good but sometimes we need the verses that scare us to death to spur us on. Don’t fear having to use them. They are there for just that reason. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He has provided exactly what we need to get into His will.
The wisdom you need this week is from God and it will continue to come from God. You are learning whatever it takes to be successful and that knowledge can only come from Jesus. He is going to provide the escape for you but it may very well take some time and smaller steps to make sure you are successful. Going cold turkey might work for someone but not for you. The process is a learning experience each one of us must go through so we do not go back to the transgression again. We are all aware of the story of the demons return with seven worse than him but if you are not read Matthew 12:43-45. We need to habitually seek God’s face for answers that will give us the wisdom to stay away from sin.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first because our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 3: Intervention
This is my favourite part in the book The White Picket Fence from the chapter 9 instructions. When we think of intervention we break out into a sweat just thinking about our family coming together for that cause. I don’t know if that has happened to you but it has never happened to me. If it needs to happen maybe it should but perish the thought. In this instruction, we go from being a victim of our circumstances to the knowledge that we can be an overcomer in our circumstances. I do not know about you but that is such a good feeling.
You have now become aware, not only of how much this transgression has affected you every day, but also what sparks a fire under you to do it. We cannot do anything about this behaviour if we never attempt to stop it. [Kathleen Derbyshire, The White Picket Fence (Chapter 9)]. The awesome thing about our God is He always provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13) but that way out is useless if you do not think you are doing anything wrong. The way will be provided but you will not take it. In the third week of this instruction you are looking for His way out. You are looking to save yourself and be saved. This round-about you are travelling on has got to stop and it will begin on this third week.
Prevention is key and you will learn that eventually but for now intervention will work. This week we will intervene on our own behalf plus we will allow Jesus to intervene too. If you love Jesus He will have put His two cents in already. If you weren’t listening I want you to learn how to hear Jesus speaking to you and listen to what He says. He will point you to a direction then you have to take it. You have to take the exit from the round-about He shows you. This is yours and His intervention. You must set your mind to making the change and He just walks right in to show you which exit to take. You need to listen and do what you are told.
Let us imagine your boundary is NO sweets, and you have already defined what that means, how Jesus would speak regarding this. I have to say from experience this one is very difficult because our body gets addicted to the sweets we used to eat. If this is your boundary don’t worry if you fail daily until you get strong. There are many boundaries we might fail at daily because we are very weak with that thing (we wouldn’t need a boundary if we were strong) and the product is very prevalent, especially this time of year. You can modify your boundary by limiting that thing until you can actually get through one day without the thing. Jesus will go after you in a manner that you will understand and feel. He might put someone else in charge of you on that boundary too. You might go after a tart and someone you don’t know will make a comment about them being fattening – that is Jesus. Thank Him for it and just back away from the tart.
I think our biggest problem with this is we don’t think Jesus cares about these little things but He care deeply about these things otherwise He would not have said this; He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. (Luke 16:10) If we are out of control in the little things we will be out of control in the big things. We all know this to be true just by looking at our own lives. If we eat a candy we will eat a pie. If we will eat a little chocolate we will eat a double sized chocolate bar. Give us a foot we will take a mile. Jesus cares about how far we will go to get what we want. He knows how far we will go. We go that distance without Him but when we see where we have taken ourselves on our quest to fulfill our need He is there waiting to show us the way back. We call out to Him and He answers. He shows us the way of exit from our round-about.
The value of intervening for ourselves and letting Jesus intervene is the knowledge we gain from the intervention. As we continue to intervene we discover why you get yourself into trouble in the first place. You will see if your first course of action to intervene actually worked or if you need to take another exit. How hard is it to intervene on your own behalf? How hard is it to let Jesus intervene? You will learn a lot this week. That thing became a habit for a reason. We do them without thinking. Now we have to learn to NOT do them without thinking. This week intervene as much as you can to stop that thing Jesus has asked you to stop. Document the results and look at them each day. You will discover you are getting better at exiting rather than entering the round-about of sin.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first because our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 2: The Spark
Last week we discussed the awareness of our need to have Biblical boundaries in our lives. Until we are aware of the need for them we will not make the effort to woo them out in our lives. To continue past the awareness phase of the White Picket Fence Instructions we need to understand what causes us to need these boundaries. Outside of the precepts of God we need to be able to protect the direction God has planned for us. Getting into His will has to be a priority for us but we do have an adversary who wants to frustrate every move we make (1 Peter 5:8). Knowing this we can move forward with a better understanding behind our frustration and our sin.
As Christians, we are not immune to the temptation the devil will bring. Jesus said we will have trouble in this world (John 16:33) but we do not need to allow it to rule over us. Every boundary we set for ourselves will be set ablaze if we do not begin putting these fires out one at a time. The spark is the temptation that leads to sin. Discovering what is behind your failure to succeed will help you avoid burning your fence down out of ignorance. Your understanding of ‘why’ you sin will be your power to extinguish the spark before the fire rages and burns down your whole white picket fence. Kathleen Derbyshire; The White Picket Fence, 2017
Fire in the Bible has two meanings outside of food and warm. Acts 2:3 tells us it is the presence of God. This can set our soul on fire for God to have a zeal for His will in our life and in others. The other fire is the His judgement. Isaiah 50:11 tells us we can light our own fires but we will lay down in torment. This is the fire that is, definitely, burning our fence down. Either we are being set on fire by Jesus or we are being set on fire by the devil. You need find out where the fire is coming from and either allow God to fan the flames or get out your fire extinguisher to put it out before it does any more damage to your boundaries (boundaries and fence are synonymous in The White Picket Fence Novel).
This week spend some time discovering what sparks a fire in you to sin. Without this understanding, you will continue to go in the same direction, tripping over the same stones, knocking your head on the same beam and scratching your head with the same scarred hand. This cycle has to be stopped but it will only stop if you do the work to figure out why you keep repeating it. As a result, you will not be able to continue lying to yourself, because once you know, you cannot un-know the information. When you know, you will be able to modify the direction of these behaviours. If it takes twenty tries to learn keep at it. Don’t stop learning.
If you haven’t read Part 1, read it now, if you have you are aware that Jesus expects us to know what He wants us to do and to do it. If you write down what Jesus has asked you to do it is easier to keep referring to it. If you are not journaling, you should be. In your journal write down this week what sparks you to sin. The world is filled with eye candy for us to cause us to sin. What is your spark? What is it you see, hear, smell, taste or touch causing you to want the thing you know you cannot have. Write it down in your journal, especially if it is a daily event. A good example would be our love of sweets. They are all over the place, particularly this time of year. They draw people. They lure people. They will cause you to go to extremes to eat them. You are addicted like the rest of us. Use your senses to see which one of them lures you the hardest to the sweets. Write it down. If sweets are not your issue what is? Use your senses to discern which one is drawing you to that thing. Write it down. Do the best you can this week to understand every detail about this thing that God has asked you to quit. Why is your god rather than Jesus? What does it possess that keeps drawing you back?
Write down what you did when it drew you. Write down who you were with when it drew you. Write down how you were feeling when you were drawn into this sin. Answering these questions this week will help you to continue in these instructions. This work is not too hard for you to do but you need to set your face on doing it or you will fail at eliminating this sin and others. We need to habitually eliminate sin. It is the only way to stay in the will of God.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first. Our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.
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Biblical Boundaries Part 1: Awareness
The White Picket Fence book I have written was written because I saw a need for women to know they need to set boundaries in their lives. Humanity on the whole is pretty sloppy about what they will do and what they won’t do depending on who they are doing it with and where. I have been teaching teens and adults about boundaries for 12 years and encounter the same thing over and over. Why do I need boundaries? What good can come of having boundaries? Aren’t morals good enough? Most of the folks I have taught so far are not Christians therefore the reason I have for them is different than the reasons I have for Christians. For the unsaved the reasons are personal and for the saved they are Spiritual.
This week, you are becoming aware of the need for the “White Picket Fence”. With no fence to hold you back, you are free to roam into transgressions. whether they work for you or not. Think this week about being surrounded by a “White Picket Fence”, with our Jesus Christ as its foundation, and what a comfort it would be to have that fence surrounding you. Let us start first by going to the Word of God for the hope we will need to be successful. Kathleen Derbyshire; The White Picket Fence, 2017
In The White Picket Fence the characters deal with becoming aware they need boundaries. They are Christian but they have the same problems as non-Christians. The difference is we call them sin they call them bad habits. Real life is real life, saved or unsaved. The sun comes up on both of us and goes down on both of us. We all need to create boundaries in our lives so when the sun goes down at night we are safe. Boundaries keep us safe from others and ourselves. My book doesn’t talk of others invading our space but it happens all the time primarily because we don’t have a white picket fence that keeps them out. If we choose not to formulate, set and defend our own personal Biblical Boundaries we will never be able to keep others out of our space. As a Christian we are not to be doormats. None of the Biblical characters were doormats nor did they allow others to invade them. They endured for the Truth with those who would persecute them for the truth (read Acts). If someone is invading you for their good you need to put up a white picket fence and stand behind it. People who deliberately hurt you for their own good pleasure need to be stopped. You will be ineffective in the Body of Christ if you allow it to continue. With that said let us move on.
The characters in The White Picket Fence learn in the first week they must create boundaries if they are ever to reach any goal God sets for them. When God asks you to do something that is a goal He has set for you. Each character including the protagonist find God has given them a goal. Setting boundaries not only gets you to a goal in one piece but it changes your character alone the way. You will find when you begin to realize you need boundaries that if is about your character traits right from the start. We all have morals but those morals are blurry on most days. You might think stealing from the poor is wrong but stealing from the rich is okay. You might think lying to get out of trouble is wrong but lying to make a friend feel better is okay. Can you see where the blurry comes in? This is what I call a wavey line boundary. The wind, the day, the month, the mood or the friend can cause you to wave over to their side breaking the moral boundary you have almost set. If you keep jumping over your white picket fence one day your foot will get caught and a very large ditch will be there for you to fall in.
In Matthew 5:37 Jesus says, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” He said this in conclusion talking about making vows we continuously break. The vows we make to ourselves mean just as much as the ones we make to others. What is more important than that is the last part of this verse. Any answer other than “yes” or “no” when that is required is from the evil one. When you set a boundary or vow to yourself and the answer is supposed to be “no” when you say “yes” it is from the evil one. In other words, you are not serving Jesus by catering to people against His will you are serving the devil. Make now mistake, even doing good can be from the evil one. If God has not asked you to do it than you are disobeying Him and serving Satan.
Setting and defending boundaries is not easy. If it were everyone would do it. The world is going to hell in a hand basket because of the works they are doing. We are to be set apart and doing the works of Jesus. That means setting Biblical Boundaries based on what God is asking you to do. If He is asking you to give more money then boundaries need to be set on your spending. If He is asking you to teach then boundaries must be set on your time learning. If He is asking you to serve the elderly then boundaries must be set on your time with the young. If He is asking you to write then boundaries must be set on your social life. Each time Jesus asks you to do something He expects you will do it. If you are not able to do it because of life constraints then change your life because what we do for Jesus will have a much larger impact on the world.
If you need help learning how to set Biblical boundaries The White Picket Fence, Crown for Life Pursues Biblical Boundaries will be available for purchase beginning in December. The last chapter is an instruction for you but I recommend you read the whole book first because our need to feel as if we are not alone will be met with abundance.
