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Come into the Deep with Me!
The Call
The term ‘In the deep with God’ came up in a conversation this week and Leola had some questions for God about that. What is the deep with You and how does one get into the deep? How do I know when I am in the deep? Do You tell me I am deep? Is it a feeling? Leola ponders these questions as she reads Psalm 91. If the deep means the secret place, is she there? Is deep the same for everyone? Can I ask people what deep means and get the same answer each time? Are You so predictable? Can I find the answer to these questions in Your Word? Leola ponders this Psalm against the term ‘deep’ and the ‘secret place’ talked about in this Psalm. She knows about having a secret place with God because she has one, on her ‘have-to-have-it couch’ staring out the window, but the distraction are becoming too much for her to stay in that secret place for too long. She needs alone time with Him to stay in the secret place long enough to hear God speak. Her call to the deep. At first she went out onto the back patio but when winter came it was to cold so she sat on her bed which turns out to be most uncomfortable. She knew God was calling her into ‘the deep’ (whatever that was) and she had to go alone. Her house is teaming with people so what can she do?
The chaos in the house is definitely holding Leola back from going deep with Jesus. There is nowhere to sit and read her Bible except the living room or her bed. She needs her own space. Her older kids had moved out but there was too much stuff in the house for her to have her own personal space. Leola had some organizing and purging to do. When a space was available Sam and Leola went shopping for what she now calls her ‘Jesus chair’. She converted one of the bedrooms into a ‘deep room’ she could go to be alone. She bought shelves for her many books and a carpet for her cold toes. She positioned the chair to look out the window because staring out the window is her secret place with Jesus and continues even to this day. If you see Leola staring out a window you know she is pondering something deep with God in their secret place.
The secret place from Psalm 91 and ‘the deep’ are two different things. Preachers talk about going deep with Jesus but what exactly do they mean? They get it from 1 Corinthians 2:10 which says the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. The Spirit who lives deep within us holding the deep things of God in His hand for us to take. The secret place referred to in Psalm 91 is the place you go to be alone with Jesus where you can hear Him speak. If you do not have a secret place you will not hear the call to the deep. As a new Christian I thought it was a physical place (and it was for me for a while) but as I matured I learned it is anywhere I am that I can hear God speak to me. The secret place is nowhere in particular and everywhere with God. The deep things of God can only be revealed in that secret place. This was confusing to me until I had my secret place modified into my secret alone place. I needed to be alone with Jesus to be able to ponder the deep place or even the deep things of God. It would still be years before all of it would come together for me. My secret place with Jesus can happen anytime He speaks to me no matter where I am and the deep is where I go when I study who He is.
The Deep
Leola was called into the deep with Jesus. She had to learn what that meant for her. It is in this quest for the deep with Jesus she learned of her own individuality. She learned what her purpose was for being in this world at this time. She learned Jesus actually saw her and she wasn’t invisible to Him. She learned her emotional pain was real and needed healing. Her wounds were deep and the healing needed to be deep. Surface fixes were not working but she didn’t know she was so shallow until she went deep. Up to this point she was wading in the Waters of God listening to people explain His Word. His deep calls for her to stop getting her information from people to hearing it from Him alone. She would have to learn to ponder His Word with Him and wait for the answer. As difficult as it was to do she learned how to do it and how fulfilling it was to know what He was teaching. What she was learning in the secret place had to remain a secret until she went deep with God for a full understanding. She would even talk out loud to Him as if He was standing right on the other side of the window. She cannot get over knowing Jesus deeply enough to ask any question and get an almost instant answer. If an answer doesn’t come quickly there is more to learn so she waits patiently to learn the answer. In her secret place where deepness is she learned she is not the only one called to the deep, all Christians are called to the deep but not all will go. Leola went and never looked back.
Jesus went to be alone with the Father (called to the deep) and He took the disciples to be alone with Him too (He called them to the deep). He pulled Saul away for three years to teach Him the deep things of God. The deep things of God cannot be found in a sermon or glancing through the Bible. They are found in your secret place deep inside you and God. This, unfortunately, is also where your deepest pain resides but also where the deepest knowledge of God resides. I understand not wanting to go there but if you choose not to go deep you are also choosing not to have a deep relationship with Jesus. When He calls you into the deep it is going to be painful but life altering. It is going to unnerve you but it is where the new creation of you resides. It is where the Spiritual Gifts you have get their power to reveal Jesus to those you serve. It is where your life as a Christian soldier marches onward. Deep death takes place and a deep life emerges for and with Jesus. He is calling you to die a deep death so you can live a deep life. I promise you, the pain is nothing compared to the joy! Will you go deep with me?
Meditation Verse for this week: Psalm 91; Psalm 42; 1 Corinthians 2:10; Luke 5:4
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His Dream is Deeper!
The Tit for Tat!
Setting her mind on the things of Heaven is one thing but setting her mind on doing what is His way is another thing all together. Leola is working on doing the right thing and has not been able to learn how to set her mind on lining up what she believes with what she needs to do. The struggle in her mind is how she has been used by people before to fulfill their goals without consideration for her goals. It is that whole tit for tat concept; you rub my back and I’ll rub yours. Those concepts are getting Leola nowhere in her life and her bitterness is definitely holding her back. She gave up on her dreams and packed it in because she was being used by so many people to accomplish their goals. Her goals were not being accomplished. She still worked hard for the Body of Christ but not toward the dream she had. She really had no goals for herself anymore which was ironic to her since she taught for years having goals is paramount in our life. What she didn’t understand was her goals need to be transformed into God’s goals. She is rewriting her goals.
Years ago, when God lead Leola to begin teaching life skills, she was very excited to do it. She is gifted with teaching and writing. This was going to be easy to accomplish. She would do fantastic at it and make millions in no time, goal set! Then, Hope Devoted Life Skills Center for Women would open its doors in Essex County with those millions, and women would flock from all over Canada to be trained, another goal set. Franchises would open in every province and women would flourish under the care of Hope Devoted, the perfect vision. Then, Leola discovered the truth. Just because she had the dream did not mean it was going to happen. There have been too many times she worked hard to get somewhere and someone else’s dream advanced instead of hers. She is going to throw in the towel because maybe she heard God wrong. Maybe the dream she had belongs to someone else and not her, taking into account she has seen so many people advance in teaching what she had been teaching for years. She is watching many people succeed in their ministries leaving her behind. It does look to her like she is not going in the right direction. She can see that people are hardly having to work and are successful but she is working hard to get nowhere. The sound of failure is ringing in her ears so loud she cannot hear anything else but God will remove the ringing and start reminding her the old dream is about to come alive again.
Have you ever questioned your directions because it doesn’t seem to be going in the direction you thought it would? For several years I have been questioning and losing verve over my direction. God has kept me going thankfully but I had lost hope in the old dream. I have been praying for someone else to pick it up and was okay with mentoring someone else to do it but at least I was hoping it would get done. I did get to the point of giving up on it! At that point my heart was truly broken because I wanted to do it so badly. I began to pray for a new goal. What am I going to do with my life? Just sit in my Jesus Room and read the Bible? Teach one woman the Bible weekly? Run a retreat for seven women bi-monthly? I’m okay with this but I need Jesus to remove the dream I had from before because it is killing me not to do it! Then, events started happening regarding the old dream because of new events taking place. John 14:26 started coming to life for me. All these years I had been taught by the Holy Spirit the new things I needed to know so the old things I already knew could take place. I cannot describe the moment I discovered this to be happening and I cannot today describe the feeling but I can describe the knowledge. Jesus said it and it will be! I know that more now than yesterday!
The Deep!
The ringing in her ears turns out to be the Holy Spirit blocking out any other dream she is dreaming up. She is by nature a dreamer and the Holy Spirit had to step in to stop the dreaming. His plan for her had to happen and He needed her to stop all fleshly dreaming and start conforming to His plan even thought she was convinced it was dead. He has been showing Leola the direction to go, she goes and then He reminds her of the time He told her this exact event would happen. How impossible it all seemed to her from over there, but now that she is here, she can begin to see it happening. She is not as giddy as she was when she was young because she is more mature now. It has all spun into joy rather than happiness. Happy was she to be able to help women when she was young but God has matured her into someone who now sees the joy and the sorrow with helping women become women of God. It is found deeper in her soul rather than more of a surface goal. The goal has to be number one outside of the surface emotions taking place. She needs to keep the goal at the front of her mind and do what needs to be done. It is hard for Leola to describe the feeling. She now knows how shallow and fluffy her emotions and her conviction to be successful were about this deep task she is about to embark on. The Lord could not have that, not for one second! When He sends her to accomplish this goal He needs to know she is committed to His goal for life! He has made His point! She will wait in the deep because that is the only place Jesus is!
I am convinced on this day just as yesterday and the years before God tells us from the beginning what His plan is for us. Thankfully He doesn’t tell us what we are going to go through to get to the deep point where He can actually use us for that task. Sometimes, like Gideon, His plan is quick but then there are others, like Joseph, whose plan is far off. Each one of us has the Holy Spirit living in us and directing our plan daily therefore we can be sure, if we are listening, that He will do what He said He will no matter how long it takes. The Spirit wants us to know that He is taking us through the ringer to get us to the dream He has planted deep in our soul because His dream is deeper than ours. This week get back in touch with that deep dream and live in it!
Meditation verses for this week: John 14:26; Philippians 1:6; 1 Corinthians 3:16
