I am Not Failing!
The Failure!
The sun is shining this beautiful morning and it is shining in Leola’s heart too. There is no other day that she can remember at this moment to have such an impact on her than today. She is wiping the tears away as she opens her Bible to read. How grateful she is to be saved by grace! She is reminded of how often she has failed to do what God has convicted her of but this morning she is remembering something the Spirit revealed to her last night. Her conviction is renewed but it wasn’t quite so easy in the past. Today, she is quick to discover her underlying issues and quick to get on with living the abundant life Jesus came to give her. If it were not for the Book of Life her existance would be the same as everyone else’s. She has become one who cares so deeply about following her calling that she would pray for God to get her ready. She wants to save women from everything 2 Timothy 3 says will happen to them but failure needs to be dealt with. And what better place to go then the Psalms.
“A Psalm a day keeps my depression away,” she thinks as she starts reading Psalm 73. Leola had been beating herself up yesterday for failing to continue on her path with Jesus. He has convicted her to love her fellow man. Jesus has been working in several areas of her life at the same time. Most people would cringe at the prospect of doing so much at once but God has gifted Leola to be able to handle it. What most people take a lifetime to clean up Leola can clean up in no time thanks to Jesus! She also knows, when much is given much is expected (Luke 12:35-48). She knows what is expected of her and she is extremely hard on herself when she fails. In the olden days she would beat herself up for days yet never come to the conclusion of why she failed. She failed again, after years of practice, she did it again! That old ugly woman (ETS – Evil Twin Sister) rises up at different times and Leola is unprepared for her appearance. She will be happy and content then, bam, ETS shows up unstoppable. An ETS warning light would be nice like the Kmart Blue Light Special but unfortunately it doesn’t and she fails. When she is walking up to a situation she would love to see the blue light flashing then as she is walking up she can prepare for it. Alas after years of torturing herself, God has given her a partial sentence that will change the way she deals with the ETS appearance from that moment on.
When God calls us He has already created our new man but our old man has to be put away by us. We need to remember God create both men. The old man is who He has saved and knows him better than we do. He has prepared the new man to do His work because the old man was incapable through sin of doing the righteous work. The old man is self-serving and self-absorbed but the new man is Spirit minded and Heaven absorbed. We will only be 100% heaven minded when we are in Heaven so in the meantime, while we are on this earth, we will not only fight the devil but we will fight our old man too. They exist, for us, in the same body, in the same space, in the same time and the devil knows that better than we do. As long as he can make us think the old man still lives he will be successful at reviving that dead guy each and every time. We need to work hard at keeping that dead guy in the grave. It may be a slow process at times and quick at other times. It is completely dependent on what God is teaching us and how much we fight Him. It is our job to be successful at keeping the old man in the grave.
The Revelation!
Leola gets quite a few revelations from God while looking out the front window or any window as a matter of fact. This is why she loves to be able to do see out the window while she is studying the Bible, writing or doing any kind of work. When she stares out the window in the winter she sees white (the colour of purity) and in the summer green (the colour of growth). Every time she looks up she sees blue which is the colour of Heaven. If she could live in a house made of glass she would. While she was thinking about her failure again, she instinctively walked to the front window and she is spoken too. Leola has become very aware of the Spirit speaking to her. He said, “You have failed but you are not failing!” She smiled from ear to ear! The perfect encouragement at the perfect time. Her soul accepts it. She is not failing she is succeeding. She has come a long way from where she was and it has been a long road travelling from dead to alive. Leola knows the road is still long and narrow but she is accepting day by day every success she has gained and she is accepting every encouragement he God is supplying. She is not failing, she is succeeding.
I know how hard it is to accept our success because sometimes our failures are before our eyes constantly. Since our mind is filled with our quest to be like Jesus we forget how much closer we are toward that than yesterday. When we look in the mirror we need to begin seeing this new man, who looks like Jesus, rather than the old one who looks like sin. Psalm 73:26 is correct in saying, My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. This is why we are not failing. God is the strength of our heart and He is our portion forever. I look like Him and because of His Spirit in me I will act like Him when I keep the old man buried. I did fail but I am NOT FAILING!
This week’s meditation verses: Psalm 73:26; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Ephesians 4:24
